Ball Girl #037: Nikola Jokic wins BGE

There is hope for us all. 

Want the scoop on sports but don’t feel like translating ‘bro’ language? You’ve come to the right place.

Can I have your number?

• 62,046: Record for NBA single-game attendance (in people) in the regular season. This was a Bulls vs. Hawks game in 1998 featuring a Michael Jordan 34-point game in an 89-74 win over the Hawks.

NBA

Round 2 of the NBA playoffs are officially underway. What does that mean? There are only 4 series remaining, and we’ve got your spark notes summary for those who didn’t do the reading 😜

Feats For the East

• #1 Miami Heat (4) vs. #4 Philadelphia 76ers (2): The Miami Heat entered last night with a chance to end it, and END IT they did (did someone say uncuffing season?). Heat's Jimmy Butler who had 32 points, which is important because y'all the 76ers traded Butler back in 2019 for Tobias Harris. Jimmy left the court like a fellow petty queen with this message for his ex.

• #2 Boston Celtics (2) vs. #3 Milwaukee Bucks (2):  Boston was leading the entire game, until the last 45 seconds. That’s all Milwaukee needed to walk away Wednesday night with a win and a lead in the series. Play of the game was in the last 10 seconds, when Buck’s Jrue Holiday had a block and then a STEAL on Celtics’ Marcus Smart (who FYI won the 2022 Defensive Player of the Year). This, obviously, started an onslaught of amazing twitter banter.

• Quest for the West

  • #1 Phoenix Suns (3) vs. #4 Dallas Mavericks (3): Luka Doncic has been annoying the Suns’ more than the AC annoys every girl working in office. And last night, he put the Suns on full blast. Doncic had 33 points, 11 rebounds, and 4 steals. He's single-handedly forcing this series into game 7.

  • #2 Memphis Grizzlies (2) vs. #3 Golden State Warriors (3): The Grizzles came out Wednesday night and didn’t just win. They roasted the Golden State Warriors, worse than my girl group chat roasts every single hinge profile we come across. At one point, Memphis was up by 55 points. Did I stutter? Ja was on the sideline more frosted than a cupcake from Magnolia Bakery. See below.

We got grillz. We got chains. We got balenciagas (the ones that look like socks)

NHL

Nearing the end of round 1... And its 👏🏼about 👏🏼damn 👏🏼time

The only ‘quick’ series we’ve seen this round are the Avalanche absolutely whooping the Predators... Other than that, its been knock-em down, drag-em out series across the board. Now that we’re nearing the end of round 1, let’s take a look at the big picture...

Who has clinched round 1 and is moving on:

• St. Louis Blues vs Minnesota Wild: the Blues defeated the Wild in game 6 last night to take the series. Instead of starting their new star goalie Marc-Andre Fleury, who was acquired through trades in March and has started all of their playoff games thus far, the Wild went back to their OG goalie, Cam Talbot. The Blues made quick work of him and walked away with an easy 5-1 win.

• Colorado Avalanche vs Nashville Predators: The Avalanche swept this series in just 7 days (but we already knew this). And as they should; they’re one of the top dogs in the league right now. Can’t say the same for any of the other 1 seeds.

Game 7 is up next and will decide the fate of these series:

• Toronto Maple Leafs vs Tampa Bay Lightning: The Lightning manage to hold on to this series after defeating the Leafs in OT last night... the defending champs aren’t going down that easy. Game 7 for these teams will truly be a fight to the death.

• Edmonton Oilers vs LA Kings: The Kings have taken the Oilers by surprise at every turn this series... And the Oilers were caught slacking. They managed to eke out a win last night to push the series to game 7. The Kings gotta step it up if they wanna be David and take down Goliath.

• Carolina Hurricanes vs Boston Bruins: Every time the ‘Canes think they have this series on lock, the Bruins rear their head... Most recently, in their 5-2 win last night. The home team has won each time in this series, and tomorrow’s pivotal game will take place on Carolina’s turf...

Game 6 is up next for these matchups:

• NY Rangers vs Pittsburgh Penguins: The Rangers won last night and manage to keep the series alive, but they’re still down 2-3… They need a major wake up call if they have any shot at defeating the red-hot Penguins tomorrow and staying alive for another game.

• Calgary Flames vs Dallas Stars: the Flames beat the Stars last night to go up 3-2 in the series… this might be their comeback tour.

• Florida Panthers vs Washington Capitals: The Panthers also pulled ahead 3-2 after a win last night… we’ll see if they can keep that momentum going and win two in a row to end it. The Caps are hot so it will not be an easy game.

MLB

On Wednesdays... we WALKOFF

• Atlanta Braves’ Orlando Arcia cranked a 2-run homerun in the bottom of the 9th inning to secure the Braves’ 5-3 win against the Boston Red Sox on Wednesday.

• Wednesday’s game was Arcia’s first time in the starting lineup in over two weeks, and the walkoff bomb was his first homerun of the season.

Houston Astros extend their winning streak to double digits!

• In the 3rd game of their series against the Minnesota Twins, the Astros extended their winning streak to 10 games with a 5-0 victory and 3 game sweep vs. the Twins.

• Astros’ Yordan Alvarez homered not once... but TWICE, and rookie shortstop Jeremy Pena had 3 hits in Thursday night’s 5-0 game.

NFL

Get ready to run it back to SoFi stadium for the start of the 2022 NFL season

• The 2022 NFL season will kick-off right where it ended last season... In SoFi stadium.

• The Los Angeles Rams (reigning Super Bowl champs) will face the Buffalo Bills on September 8th. This game will be a great QB matchup with the beloved Matthew Stafford (Rams) and stud Josh Allen (Bills).

Golf

Sebastian Munoz, who?!

• Oh, we’ll tell you who. After shooting -12 in the first round of the 2022 AT&T Byron Nelson, Munoz is now the first player in PGA Tour history with two rounds of 60 or better in the same season. In a 10-hole stretch, Munoz eagled two par 5s and had six birdies. Justin Thomas, Jon Rahm and Matt Jones are the only other players who have shot -12 this season. Munoz has only one Tour win (2019 Sanderson Farms Championship)... could this be a strong start to his second?

• Where are the fan favs falling on the leaderboard?

  • T2 (-8 for the day) - K.H. Lee (reigning champ)

  • T12 (-5 for the day) - H. Matsuyama, D. Johnson, J. Spieth, S. Scheffler, J. Niemann

  • T24 (-4 for the day) - J. Day, J. Thomas

F1

Debate over jewelry ban continues

• you’re probably going whaaaaaat like an adorable yellow minion right now but that’s right, F1 has a safety ban on JEWELRY right now. It low key makes sense. If I caught on fire, I don’t think I’d want metal scalding me but a lot of players (such as King Hamilton) see this as a restraint on personal individuality in the sport. Lewis protested in his press conference by wearing as much jewelry as he could physically fit onto his body.

all I ever wanted was a rollie rollie!

Must Watch This Week

Friday, May 13, 2022

• 7:05pm ET, Houston Astros @ Washington Nationals, MLB: Think the hottest team in baseball can extend their winning streak to 11? Astros’ Framber Valdez will be on the mound, and he hasn't won a game since April 7th. Houston, keep your fingers crossed.

• 7:30pm ET, Boston Celtics vs. Milwaukee Bucks, NBA: Boston is on the brink of elimination and I’m GIDDY at the thought of watching them fall (for those new to us, shameless NY fan.)

• 9:00pm ET, NY Rangers vs Pittsburgh Penguins, NHL: The Rangers are thiiiiiis close to getting knocked out of the playoffs after having such a promising regular season... Tune in to see if they can turn things around.

• 9:30pm ET, Florida Panthers vs Washington Capitals, NHL: The Panthers had a slow start to the series but have a shot to end any Caps pipe dreams of the Stanley cup tonight once and for all. Only question is, will they be able to get the job done.

• 10:00pm ET, Golden State Warriors vs. Memphis Grizzlies, NBA: and back to Cali we go!! Golden State played the worst basketball I’ve ever seen on Wednesday so they need redemption. The Grizzlies meanwhile, need a miracle but we’ve seen crazier in the NBA!

Saturday, May 14, 2022

• 11:45am ET, Liverpool vs. Chelsea, Soccer: These two teams face off in the FA Cup final. Liverpool is still on a quest for the elusive “quadruple”, and Chelsea has something to prove as their season is just falling flat.

• 2:15pm ET, San Francisco Giants @ St. Louis Cardinals, MLB: The Giants and Cardinals are neck-and-neck in National League rankings. The Giants are coming in hot with a 5 game winning streak and Logan Webb on the mound... watch out St. Louis.

• 6:30pm ET, Boston Bruins vs Carolina Hurricanes, NHL: The Bruins are like the annoying younger sibling who, no matter how many times you punch them, won’t stop coming back around to bother you. The ‘Canes have a shot at shutting them up once and for all but the Bruins aren’t going down without a fight.

• 9:00pm ET, Toronto Maple Leafs vs Tampa Bay Lightning, NHL: The Leafs have not won a game 7 since 2004. Major dry spell alert. And they just might get lucky... they have a stellar squad and their goalie, Andrei Vasilevskiy, is crushing it.

• 10:00pm ET, LA Kings vs Edmonton Oilers, NHL: This is the Kings shot to stun the world and put the sleepy Oilers away... unless the Oilers wake up and decide to start playing playoff hockey all of a sudden.

Sunday, May 15, 2022

• 2:10pm ET, New York Yankees @ Chicago White Sox, MLB: Yankees’ Nasty Nestor Cortes is taking the mound and Giancarlo Stanton has been HOT this week. Let’s see if the Yanks can keep up their winning streak on the road.

Time Out for the Tea

Kyrie calls out trolls!...for being roaches

• While Kyrie Irving was streaming Grand Theft Auto on Twitch, he used it as an opportunity to call out his haters with the ultimate roast...calling them cockroaches. sounds to me like someone is a liiiitttle bitter to be kicked from the playoffs. “It’s but so long ya’ll can say the same jokes. ‘Oh Kyrie what are you doing at home?’ That’s how y’all sound to me. ‘What are you doing at home are you going to Cancún?’ Where are you? Are you at home? Kyrie you suck.’ Go to bed. ‘Go back to Cleveland, oh my God, Boston hates you, oh my God,’ that’s how y’all sound to me — cockroaches.”