Ball Girl #039: Blues' forward Brayden Schenn apparently hates photos as much as I do

Want the scoop on sports but don’t feel like translating ‘bro’ language? You’ve come to the right place.

Can I have your number?

• 12,386,344: Number of possible plays in a baseball game. Not really sure how some statistician got there, but all 12,386,344 are equally boring.

NBA

Round 2 of the NBA Playoffs concluded, and to help my non NBA fans out there understand the gravity, this is equivalent Home Town Visits on the Bachelor.

Eastern Conference Finals: #1 Miami Heat vs. #2 Boston Celtics: We had our first matchup between these teams last night in Miami. The first half was pretty even but the Heat had a major GLOWUP in the 3rd, and the Celtics, a major blowup, during which Miami outscored the Celtics by 25 buckets. Jimmy Butler was unsurprisingly the hero (or villain for you Celtics fans) of the game with 41 points, 9 rebounds, and 5 assists. King energy.

Western Conference Finals: #4 Dallas Mavericks vs. #3 Golden State Warriors :

• We won’t see these two teams face off until later today at 9:00pm but here’s what you need to know. Golden State are the heavy favorites to take the series. Their roster is filled with seasoned veterans and they won the title as recently as 2018. BUT here’s where things get spicy…in 2007 these two teams faced. GSW were ranked #8 and upset the #1 seeded Mavericks. Fans nicknames this season the “WE BELIEVE” run. The Mavs are determined to #rebrand the narrative for themselves and they actually have a chance to.

To understand the full drama-rama around the historical significane of this matchup, watch the below:

NHL

Ready 4 Round 2

Round 2 is underway so let’s take a look at the new matchups.

Florida Panthers vs. Tampa Bay Lightning

• Quick Preview: Panthers are slightly favored to win this series, probably because of their infamous offensive trio — Claude Giroux, Carter Verhaeghe, and Aleksander Barkov. The Lightning, our defending champs, also have a deep roster, including a brick wall for a goalie, Andrei Vasilevsky. But they have to play without star center Brayden Point for most of the series (he’s the lead scorer for the entire NHL over the last two postseasons, nbd).

• Game 1: The Lightning really didn’t miss Brayden Point at all (sorry bud); Vasilevsky was all they needed. They shut down the Panthers 4-1 in game 1 of the series. Talk about setting the tone.

Carolina Hurricanes vs. NY Rangers

• Quick Preview: These teams both had a tough round 1 series, but the ‘Canes are a slight favorite in this matchup, mostly because the Rangers looked much like me on Saturday night in their recent games: sloppy. Although you have to give them credit for coming back from a 3-1 deficit. The Rangers’ fate will rest on the shoulders of goalie Igor Shesterkin and his ability to stop pucks from going in the goal 🙃

• Game 1: Tonight at 7pm ET

Colorado Avalanche vs St Louis Blues:

• Quick Preview: The Avs are favored to win this series… by a hair. These are two of the best teams in the league. Not only are the Avs strong, smart, and skilled, but they’ve also been waiting for their moment for far too long. The Blues have an edge in that they recently won the Cup in 2019… but they’ll have to get crafty to take down this hungry Colorado team.

• Game 1: Blues' goalie Jordan Binnington had 58 saves. Y'all that puts him at a 95% save percentage. Holy BEAST MODE activated. But the man's only human. He kept the Blues in it all the way until overtime, but the Avs eventually snuck one in to take a lead in the series.

Edmonton Oilers vs Calgary Flames

• Quick Preview: In the Battle of Alberta, only one team will prevail… and the Flames are slightly favored. But if there’s one name that has the power to decide this highly anticipated Canadian showdown… it’s Oilers’ center Connor McDavid. If the Flames give him an inch, he’ll take a mile, eh?

• Game 1: Tonight at 9:30pm ET

MLB

Welcome to the big leagues

• What did Chicago Cubs Christopher Morel do in his very first big-league at bat? He hit a freaking homerun 🤯

• Entering the game in the 8th inning as a pinch hitter, Moral decided to MIC DROP in his literal first time playing in a Cubs uniform

• The Cubs beat the Pittsburgh Pirates 7-0

@MLB, if you’re looking for a pitcher for the HR Derby, we’d like to nominate Nathan Eovaldi

• In their 13-4 win against the Boston Red Sox, the Houston Astros tied the MLB record for number of homeruns in one inning. In the 2nd inning, the ‘Stros hit 5 bombs against Red Sox pitcher Nathan Eolvaldi

• After allowing only 15 homers in all of the 182 innings he pitched last year, Evoaldi hit rock bottom HARD in the 2nd inning of yesterday’s game. @Evoaldi, there ain’t nowhere to go but up, baby

Ya wanna be on top? 💁🏼‍♀️

There is still a lot of baseball to be played this year, but let’s take a look at the top 3 teams in each league:

American League

1. New York Yankees (27-9)

2. Houston Astros (24-13)

3. Los Angeles Angels (24-15)

National League

1. Los Angeles Dodgers (24-12)

2. San Diego Padres (23-13)

3. New York Mets (24-14)

Golf

2022 PGA Championship

• The Championship kicks off on Thursday (May 19) and lasts through the weekend at no other than the Southern Hills Country Club in Tulsa. This will be the second major of the year and everyone is expecting Scottie Scheffler (who NBD comes into the week as World #1) to pull out the dub. Justin Thomas, Jon Rahm, Rory McIlroy, and Jordan Spieth are all in contention for the win too, though.

• Know who's not in contention this year? Reigning champ, Phil Mickelson - the oldest pro to win a major (last year’s PGA at Kiawah Island) who stepped away from the Tour after making controversial comments he made regarding the Saudi Arabia-based Super Golf League.

F1

It’s pronounced Barthelona, not Barcelona

• IT’S RACE WEEK PEOPLE aka my reason to live, breathe, and drink; this Sunday we’ve got the Spanish Grand Prix. The Spanish Grand Prix has been around since 1991 and historically considered a bit dull, like #2 pencil after writing in a bluebook for three hours dull. BUT here’s why I think he have a race to watch: Ferrari is updating their car in a big way for the first time this season. We could see Charles LeClerc take the lead once again from Max Verstappen. BUT not so fast because Max Verstappen also had his debut race at this course 6 years ago and WON. All eyes are going to be on these two teams this weekend to say the least.

Must Watch This Week

Wednesday, May 18

• 7:10pm ET, St. Louis Cardinals @ New York Mets, MLB: With a close 3-1 Mets victory last night, this should be a good ball game between the #6 and #3 teams in the National League.

• 9:00pm ET, Dallas Mavericks vs. Golden State Warriors, NBA: first game of the western conference finals y’all!! And the Mavs first chance to upset the entire betting community.

Thursday, May 19

• 8:30pm ET, Boston Celtics vs. Golden State Warriors, NBA: game 2 in this series and Miami need the win before heading to the big, the bad, the ugly….Boston. Celtics fans will be lunatics as they usually are. If the series is tied? Oh they’ll be straight up possessed.

Time Out for the Tea

Griner remains stuck in Russia… for another 30 days MINIMUM

The Russian court has extended Brittany Griner’s (WNBA star) pre-trial detention by 30 days, according to Griner’s Moscow lawyer, Alexander Boikov. Griner has been detained in Russia since February when cannabis oil vape cartridges were found in her suitcase. These charges carry a max sentence of 10 years in prison, though Boikov describes Griner’s mood as “normal” - "She's been treated OK and has no concerns or complaints about her health. Everything is as OK as it could be.”

Leeeeeebron James

• Lebron has announced he has no intention of retiring anytime soon…despite the fact that he’s 37.