Ball Girl #044: What can you do after MDW?

DAY DRINKKKK. So, refer one friend below to get a free ticket to hear Charly Jordan this SaturDAY at the DL Rooftop. Don't know who that is? Your next girl crush.

Want the scoop on sports but don’t feel like translating ‘bro’ language? You’ve come to the right place.

Can I have your number?

• $1 million: Drake’s (approximate) payout for his $200k bet on the Golden State Warriors to win the NBA Western Conference title, which they did. The Warriors are headed to the finals for the NBA Finals for the 6th time in 8 seasons (thanks Sports-ish for the deets).

NBA

It’s finally NBA finals. A.K.A., time to choose your fighter.

Hailing from the city that always sleeps and adorned in artificial turf green, the Boston Celtics:

• Key Players:

  • Jayson Tatum: age 24 but regarded as team MVP, always lets his kid Deuce come into the locker room after a win. No one judges him for naming his kid Deuce.

  • Marcus Smart: won defensive player of the year and partially dyed his hair green for playoffs. He is COMMITTED to the bit.

• Strengths: Can play better on the road than they do at home.The best defense in the league

• Weaknesses: Success depends on Jayson Tatum: when he’s on fire, the team is on fire. When he is cold, they are ICE COLD

And Fresher than the Prince of Bel Air, wearing nothing less than pure gold (bougie much?) we have the Golden State Warriors

• Key Players:

  • Steph Curry: the 3-point GOAT with the most beautiful family I’ve ever seen. Oh, and he has an actual popcorn addiction which makes me love him even more.

  • Klay Thompson: He was out for two whole seasons with a torn ACL but came back better than ever. Called the Splash Brothers in combo with Curry.

  • Jordan Poole: This boy is only 22, AKA, barely old enough to buy me an espresso martini but he was a serious contender for the MIP award. And he’s IN LOVE with female reporter Malika Andrews.

• Strengths: Best team chemistry in the league between the three players listed above. We might just have ourselves some splash triplets.

• Weaknesses: Turnovers: Warriors need to become a little bit more possessive because right now they are averaging double digits turnovers per a game.

Bottom line? Warriors are the HEAVY favorite but in the words of Justin Bieber, Never Say Never

NHL

After MDW I have 4 remaining brain cells- 1 to follow each of the remaining teams in the Stanley Cup Playoffs. That's right conference championship series are now underway. Here's whose numbers you can still save.

Tampa Bay Lightning vs. NY Rangers (East): The Rangers are the girl next door who’s ugly until you take off her glasses. The Lightning are the popular cheerleader who’s expected to win homecoming queen again. But the real characters in this series are the goalies... Rangers’ Igor Shesterkin is having a stellar season, but his Rangers team is going up against the best goalie in the league right now, an absolute alien, Andrei Vasilevskiy.

But hey, suns out tongues out right?

Colorado Avalanche vs. Edmonton Oilers (West): Both of these teams' goalies are hot and cold, but they make up for it with serious heat on offense. The Oilers have Connor McDavid, and the Avs, Nathan McKinnon… TLDR; it's going to be a fun series to watch. The Avs are the slight favorite… and they lived up to the hype last night after winning game one 8-6, even after losing starting goalie Darcy Kemper to an injury.

MLB

Dodgers and Yankees playing musical chairs

• In early May, the New York Yankees knocked the LA Dodgers off their throne to claim the no. 1 spot, but LA has been fighting to close the gap as May comes to an end. With a 4-game sweep vs. the Arizona Diamondbacks over the weekend, the Dodgers topped the Yanks to claim no. 1.

• BUT we’ll see how long this momentum lasts… because it kinda seems like LA forgot that you have to keep winning to stay on the throne.

• Ranked in the bottom 3rd of the overall League, the Pittsburgh Pirates have the Dodgers’ number this season: The Pirates went 2-1 vs. LA in an early May series, came away with a wild 6-5 walk-off win on Monday night (knocking LA back to no. 2) and topped LA 5-3 in Tuesday night’s game.

• The Dodgers have had a pretty easy schedule so far this season (meaning they haven’t played the the best teams yet), so only time will tell if they are actually worth the hype.

Golf

Burns, baby, Burns!

• Sam Burns came out of nowhere at the 2022 Charles Schwab Challenge, starting the final round SEVEN strokes back, managing to shoot 5-under in the final round to send him to a playoff with Scottie Scheffler. Burns won the playoff and ultimately the tournament, walking away with $1.51mil, bringing his season total to $6.15mil.

• Shot of the tournament goes to Burns with his 38-foot putt.

Upcoming (June 2-June 5)

• The Memorial Tournament presented by Workday kicks off on Thursday in Dublin, OH. A $12mil purse is up for grabs and the tee time list is stacked including Jon Rahm, Patrick Cantlay, Cameron Smith, Rory McIlroy, Xander Schauffele, Collin Morikawa, and Viktor Hovland.

Tennis

Can the King of Clay bring his 14th French Open Title home to Spain?

• Highlight of the week: The King of Clay. Nadal’s defeat of Djokovic 6-2, 4-6, 6-2, 7-6 (7-4) in the quarterfinals, inching closer to his 14th French Open title.

-FOR THE GALS-

• Coco Gauff defeated Sloane Stephens 2 sets to 0, while Martina Trevisan took down Leylah Annie Fernandez, 2-1, sending Gauff and Trevisan to the semi-finals tomorrow. The other side of the bracket will feature the winner of #1-seed Iga Swiatek vs. #11-seed Jessica Pegula, set to play today at 7:15am.

-FOR THE BOYS-

• Yesterday in the quarter-final, Rafael Nadal took down Novak Djokovic and Alexander Zverev defeated Carlos Alcaraz, both 3 sets to 1. Rafa will play Zverev in the semi-final on Friday at 8:45am. The other side of the bracket will feature the winners of A. Rublev vs. M. Cilic and C. Ruud vs. H. Rune, set to play today.

F1

And just like in my favorite rom-coms, rain proves to be a great backdrop for DRAMAAA

• Monaco Grand Prix is in the books. This race is typically considered super boring, but this year we had a thriller. Why? ZE WEATHER! Intense rain delayed the start time by one hour and was the great equalizer- it didn’t matter how fast your car was. It mattered how much you could control it. Which is why we had a bit of a crazy podium finish.

  • #1 Sergio Perez, Red Bull: Perez finally finished above his stud teammate Max Verstappen. He had his moment in the spotlight, just like Cal Naughton Jr. in Talladega Nights…

  • #2 Carlos Sainz, Ferrari: Sainz was called in by his radio team to pit and change tires. He said NAH and kept on racing- a defiant call but an amazing one that secured him 2nd place.

  • #3 Max Verstappen, Red Bull: this is the first race that Max has finished and not won. Brutal, babes.

  • #4 Charles Leclerc, Ferrari: he kinda broke his Monaco curse. As in he finished but had a chance to come in first had it not been for a disastrous miscommunication from his pit team. First time I've ever seen Charles lose his temper.

Soccer

Once More, Real Madrid

• The 14th Champions League Championship ("UCL") kicked off this weekend 5/28 in Paris, 36 minutes late due to access issues for supporters outside the stadium.

• Liverpool dominated the first half of the game in possession and shots on goal (we're talking 10 shots to Real's 1)

• Minute 59: Vinicius received a perfect pass from Valverde (was this a shot? Not sure but clearly it doesn't matter!!!?!?) and tapped it into net (1:07 below). This clinched Real's victory, giving them 14 European championships, which is more than double any other club

Must Watch This Week

Wednesday, June 1st

• 8:00pm ET, NY Rangers vs Tampa Bay Lightning, NHL: We’re getting down the wire with NHL playoffs… the Rangers somehow squeaked their way into the semifinals and find themselves facing the big kahuna … the defending champs themselves.

• 8:10pm ET, Pittsburgh Pirates @ Los Angeles Dodgers, MLB: The Pirates are living rent free in the Dodgers’ head this season. You won’t want to miss this game, as LA fights to stay atop League rankings.

Thursday, June 2nd:

• 2:05pm ET, Tampa Bay Rays @ Texas Rangers, MLB: The Rangers have been on a tear lately, with W after W. Let’s see if they can keep the momentum going.

• 8:00PM ET, Colorado Avalanche vs Edmonton Oilers, NHL: The Avalanche are the favorites here but they just lost their starting goalie, and Edmonton has a talented offense. This will be a high scoring series and fun to watch.

• 9:00PM ET, Boston Celtics vs. Golden State Warriors, NBA: first game of the mother-freaking NBA Playoffs people. Thursday is basically the weekend we can stay up for this.

Time Out for the Tea

Ooooo baby babayyyyy

• Patrick Mahomes (Kansas City Chiefs QB) and wife Brittany Mahomes are expecting baby #2!

Fans troll ARod

• Alex Rodriguez, former famous baseball player, and also famously known as JLO’s ex-fiancé, is sporting a new young thang on his arm… yet again. And the fans are TROLLING. Who is ARod with now?