Ball Girl #065: I used to love tea

After Paddy Pimblett’s UFC Fight Night victory this past Saturday, he ‘teabagged’ (aka, repeatedly squatted over hix\s opponent so that ones genitalia is ~ ahem ~ in front of their face) Jordan Leavitt. This foul version of a victory dance is most famous for its presence in video games such as Call of Duty. Oh, how video games have impacted our sports celebrations.

Can I have your number?

30: Number of ESPY Award Ceremonies to date. The 2022 ESPYs last week was the 30th Anniversary of the awards and was hosted by Stephen Curry, Golden State Warrior and 2022 NBA Champ. Find the full list of award winners here.

TLDRs

⚾ Big Papi made the Hall of Fame, the Sox took a heavy L against the Blue Jays, and the Astros crushed some Mariner dreams. Read on for more.

🏁 Max Verstappen got that baguette and won the French Grand Prix after Charles Leclerc spun out of control on just lap 16. Read on for more

🥊 Paddy Pimblett won his 19th UFC fight this past weekend in London. He choked out Jordan Leavitt in just the second round, forcing him to submit. The most aggressive part of the fight, though? Pimblett teabagging Leavitt after his victory (see above)

⛳️ Tony Finau won the 3M Open at TPC Twin Cities yesterday, marking his third PGA victory. Finau bagged $1.35mm for his massive rally.

MLB

Boston Red Sox set some records… and not the good kind

• The Toronto Blue Jays destroyed the Red Sox on Friday night, 28-5. That’s a new franchise record for both teams — for the Jays, runs scored; for the Sox, runs allowed 😬. It was a total team effort for Toronto: the Jays saw at least two hits from every starter.

Astros sweep Mariners in a 3-game series

• This series was a big deal. Why? The Houston Astros are one of the popular girls of the MLB these days. They’ve been in three World Series in the last 5 years (although they got busted for sign stealing after winning the 2017 World Series 👀).

• The Seattle Mariners, on the other hand, are a bunch of randos who have recently become the hottest girl in school due to some fortuitous trades and rookie Julio Rodriguez having a breakout year. They hold the second wild card spot after going 17-1 up to the All Star break.

• However, the Astros put the Mariners in their place this series. Every game was close, but the Mariners have a ways to go until they’re ready to sit at Regina George’s lunch table. Let’s hope they get a shot at the playoffs, though, because lord knows baseball could use some new blood.

Big Papi makes the HOF!

• David Ortiz, aka Big Papi, best known for his tenure with the Boston Red Sox, was inducted into the Hall of Fame yesterday. He’s regarded as one of the best designated hitters of all time — he holds the Sox record for number of home runs in a single season (54).

Golf

The Comeback Kid (aka Tony Finau)

• Midday yesterday, Tony Finau trailed by four strokes to ****Scott Piercy’s 5-stroke lead. Within 90 minutes, Finau made three birdies in a row to take the lead by 4 strokes. Meanwhile, Piercy carded 4 bogeys and one triple bogey to fall behind. Talk about a switch-up. Finau managed to hold onto his lead and finished 4-under for the day (-17 total) to cop the W — and $1.35 mil. This marks his 3rd PGA victory.

• Sungjae Im and Emiliano Grillo went T2 (-14), and Scott Piercy, Tom Hoge, James Hahn, and James Hahn went T4 (-13).

• Other notable news: The chances of Rickie Fowler making an appearance at the FedEx Cup are slim. After this weekend, Fowler is even further outside of the top 125 than he was pre-tournament. His last chance to wiggle his way into the postseason is at next week's Rocket Mortgage Classic.

F1

No one’s Sunday Scaries are scarier than Charles Leclerc’s right now

• In our last French Grand Prix for the foreseeable future, our drivers went out with a bang — for Charles Leclerc, quite literally. The Monegasque (yes that’s what people from Monaco are called and I’m obsessed) crashed on lap 16 from unforced driver error. He was leading the race up until that point, so talk about brutal. His DNF allowed Max Verstappen to take the lead and eventually win the whole enchilada.

• The real winner of the day, however, was Mercedes, who finished with Lewis Hamilton in second and George Russel in third. This is the highest Hamilton has finished all season.

Must Watch This Week

Monday, July 25th

• 7:00pm ET, Baltimore Orioles vs. Tampa Bay Rays, MLB

• 10:10pm ET, Washington Nationals vs. LA Dodgers, MLB

Tuesday, July 26th

• 7:00pm ET, NY Yankees vs NY Mets, MLB

Time Out for the Tea

Bennifer stirring the pot

• The internet is erupting over JLo and Ben Affleck’s recent marriage news…. But mostly because we’re all wondering what the heck A-Rod is thinking about it. A source exclusively told US Weekly, “He’s happy for her and happy that she’s with the person she’s meant to be with…He’s in a new relationship now and is happy as well. He’s traveling all over and living his best life.” Hmmmm, sounds like a coverup if I’ve ever heard one. To be fair, I’d also be shattered if the hottest woman on the planet left me.

ESPYs 2022 — Pro Basketball players say “Bring Brittney home”

• This past Wednesday at the ESPYs, Nneka Ogwumike (WNBA player), Steph Curry (NBA player) and Skylar Diggins-Smith (WNBA player) spoke out about Brittney Griner in Russia, saying “we cannot stop fighting for her”.

ESPYs 2022 - Hot or Not List

HOT

Ms. Cinderella (aka Peta Murgatroyd)

Mr. & Mrs. Couple and Family Goals - (aka the Curry Family)

Mr. Drip (aka Titus O'Neil)

NOT

Ms. I just bought this bra, want to see? (aka Ciara)

Ms. Sandlot (aka Maybelle Blair)

Ms. Peacock (aka Quinta Brunson)