Let me explain: they recently offered up a massive deal to star player Zion Williams — $193M over the next 5 years, with incentives promising up to $231M. What are those incentives, you ask? Zion’s WEIGHT must stay below 285 lb, and his body fat percentage below 10%.

I mean the guy’s definitely a big boy but hey….we LOVE a dad bod!!!

Can I have your number?

$120k: Last place prize in LIV Golf Invitational tournaments. With 8 events this year, you can earn $960k just for showing up. For context, players who tied for 30th at the PGA Championship this year (which was record high) didn’t even make close to 120k.Number based fact here

TLDR

⚾ Max Scherzer crushed some souls for the Mets in the New York showdown, and Pennsylvania is about to have a showdown of their own between the Pirates and the Phillies. Read on for more.

⛳️ Tony Finau (last week’s champ at the 3M Open) and Taylor Pendrith are tied for 1st at the Rocket Mortgage Classic after a strong 8-under first round yesterday. Read on for more. Also, the LIV Golf Invitational Bedminster kicks off today.

🏁 It’s the Hungarian Grand Prix this Sunday; lights out and away we go! (this is what the announcers say before each Grand Prix y’all and I know. It weirdly sounds like Buzz Lightyear’s to infinity and beyond but wtv). Read on for our breakdown of what to expect

🏀 It’s been almost a month since Kevin Durant requested a trade from the Brooklyn Nets, rocking the entire NBA. No team has been able to acquire him yet and it’s starting to look like KD might still be playing in New York next year, albeit, unwillingly. As Lady Gaga might say, our boy’s caught in a bad romance… called a contract.

🎓🏉 Game schedules are finalized and published, and I’m freaking out because we are that much closer to FOOTBALL SZN. Read up here on ESPN’s takes about the hardest, easiest, and most interesting games of this upcoming fall. AKA, start planning your viewing parties.

🏈 Training camp week one is done and dusted. Don’t know what that means? We gotchu — read on.

MLB

Max exceeds Mets' expectations

• Max Scherzer, right handed pitcher, started Wednesday’s game for the Mets, and on his birthday no less. And let me just tell you, this guy is an animal. He said goodbye to the Yankees before it even started. Mets win, 3-2.

Pirates, Phillies phight for Pennsylvania

• Sorry, I was on an alliteration kick. Anyways — we saw a Subway Series New York showdown, now it’s time for Pennsylvania. Last night, the Philadelphia Phillies defeated the Pittsburgh Pirates in the first of a four game series. The Phillies have a TON on the line right now — they’re right on the cusp of getting a wild card spot in the playoffs, so they need all the oomf they can get.

• Oh, and if you haven’t heard of the Phillies mascot, let me just make your day:

NFL

Training Camp Week 1 ✅

Today concludes the first week of NFL training camp, which is like the first week back at school, where you don’t have any actual work and you get to reunite with all your friends. Jk, they have to practice and stuff but this means we are THAT much closer to seeing some football games! Here are some highlights:

• Baker Mayfield, QB and ex-beloved child of a terrible Cleveland Browns team, had his first week with his new team: the Carolina Panthers. He didn’t do so hot though — probably just shaking off some new guy jitters.

• The Miami Dolphins’ offense did some major rebuilding in the offseason and it shows like a brand new nose. The Dolphins have had a talented QB for a couple years, Tua Tagovailoa, but he’s been behind a terrible offensive line (read: the guys in front of him couldn’t stop the other team from pummeling him). Now their O line is stacked and Tua has receivers Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle as targets. It is about to go down in Miami.

• Russell Wilson, longtime Seattle Seahawks QB, is now playing for the Denver Broncos. Wilson is supposed to be one of the best QBs in the league, and the Broncos are a QB away from a good season, so this should be interesting.

Golf

Finau hot out the gate at 🚀 Mortgage

• The Rocket Mortgage Classic started yesterday at Detroit Golf Club in Michigan. Tony Finau, last week’s champ at the 3M Open, had a hot start, landing 6-under after just 13 holes. Finau finished the day tied for first with Canadian Taylor Pendrith at -8.

• Tee shot of the day came from Max Hubbard, who kicked off the first round with an ace. Putt of the day came from Rickie Fowler, who is desperate to squeeze his way into the post-season.

F1

The Hungarian Grand Prix at the Hungaroring (Hung-gar-rah-ring): yes, I know this sounds like the Hunger Games and Lord of the Rings had a baby. It’s the name of the course 🤷‍♀️

• The Course: the Hungaroring is SUPER narrow and slow. What does this mean? It will be very difficult for drivers to overtake each other, so how they qualify on Saturday is crucial.

• The Favorite Child: Lewis Hamilton (Mercedes) is my prediction for first because he has history on his side with 8 wins at this course. That’s more than any other racer in F1 history at the Hungarori… you get it. If he WINS? He will be the first F1 driver in history to dock 9 wins on one course.

• The Dark Horse: Haas. They are finally rolling out with their much anticipated car upgrade. Is it enough to make them a top tier team? Probably not, but let the fans believe.

• P.S: After this race, F1 goes on summer break. No, I’m not kidding. This is ACTUALLY a legitimate thing to give drivers and their badass engineering teams time to relax… until August 28th, when it’s a sprint to the end of the season.

Must Watches This Week:

Friday:

• 1:00pm ET, Rocket Mortgage Classic, Golf

• 1:15pm ET, LIV Golf Bedminster begins with a shotgun start, Golf

• 6:40pm ET, NY Mets vs. Miami Marlins, MLB

Saturday:

• 1:00pm ET, Rocket Mortgage Classic, Golf

• 3:00pm ET, Hungarian Grand Prix, Qualifiers, F1

Sunday:

• 1:00pm ET, Rocket Mortgage Classic, Golf

• 2:00pm ET, Hungarian Grand Prix, F1.

Time Out for the Tea

Biden Administration offers “substantial proposal” to Russia

• The United States has “put a substantial proposal on the table” to bring Brittney Griner (WNBA star who was caught with hash in the airport and has been detained in Russia since February) and Paul Whelan (American police office arrested in 2018 on espionage charges) ****home from Russia. The proposal details have not been released, but speculation is that it involves trade of convicted arms trafficker Viktor Bout.

Interesting attire choice…

• C.J. Uzomah, new tight end for the NY Jets, showed up to training camp in a comedically humorous outfit. His t-shirt read “Person of the Year, TIME” with Zach Wilson’s (Jets QB) face beneath. If you’re missing the joke here, Wilson has recently been the center of gossip due to a rumor that he slept with his mom’s best friend.