I won’t lie — I was a little worried for the adult-version of Deuce Tatum. I mean, his dad was bringing him into the locker room after every game, dapping him up on the sidelines, and letting him chime in at press conferences. Sounds like the perfect recipe for a future d-bag.

Well, Daddy Tatum is also capable of serving his son some humble pie. He swatted the 4-year-olds shot back into 2021. Deuce’s face at the end is pure RATTLEDDDDD.

Can I have your number?

$7.648 billion: Value of the #1 most valuable U.S. Sports Franchise: the Dallas Cowboys. Shocking. Who even is a fan of that team anyway? (Can you tell I'm an Eagles' fan...)

TLDRs:

⚽ Premier League is back! Read on for more.

⚾ We’re about 2/3 of the way through the season and the playoff dance is beginning, especially in the National League. Read on to see who’s in the running.

🏈  Legit preseason games start up this week! First up: the NY Giants face the New England Patriots on Thursday night.

⛳️ Joohyung Kim (only 20 years old) made history and won the Wyndham Championship yesterday. Read on for more.

🏁 This weekend, McLaren officially announced that it plans to replace Daniel Ricciardo with youngster Oscar Piastri at the end of the ‘23 season. The tea is OVERFLOWING because 1) Danny is a fan-favorite for being a stand-up guy 2) he technically has another year on his contract… would McLaren try to pay him off to walk away earlier? and 3) Piastri may already have a signed contract with Alpine… STAY TUNED!

🎓🏈  21 more days until college football kicks off! ESPN released a trailer for the upcoming season — yes, like an actual MOVIE TRAILER — and all I can say is, I couldn’t be more excited. Meanwhile, USA TODAY published the first coaches’ poll of the season; this list ranks the top teams in the country according to the various coaching staffs' opinions (AKA, it doesn't matter for 💩 and is highly subjective, but we don't care)

Soccer

Premier League is back!!

If you’re thinking, what is the premier league… Well, playing in the Premier League in soccer world is kind of like dating a Kardashian in pop culture. You are on a global stage, competing at the highest level, all eyes on you. It can make your career (we see you Pete Davidson) or break it (like poor Kris Humphries). Last year Manchester City won the PL title, but the new 2022/23 season started up this past weekend. Here are the highlights from the best teams:

• Manchester United and Liverpool both took disappointing Ls to start off the season. Man United lost to Brighton (first time Brighton has won at United ever). Even more shocking, the new United manager, Erik ten Hag, decided to bench Portuguese star forward Cristiano Ronaldo. Ronaldo has been wanting to leave United for a while, and is known to have a massive ego… But still… you don’t bench Ronaldo. To go back to our Kardashians' metaphor- that would be like Kris Jenner turning down the Hulu contract for another season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.Liverpool lost to Fulham. Jurgen Klopp, Liverpool’s manager, complained after the game that Fulham’s field was too ‘dry’. Klopp is known to blame poor performance on random factors like the whiskey I mean, wind.

• Arsenal struggled at first against Crystal Palace but ultimately copped a strong 2-0 victory thanks to some new guys, Gabriel Jesus (forward) and William Saliba (center back).

• Manchester City beat West Ham, 2-0. The pressure was on for recently acquired forward Erling Haaland (Man City signed him to a $61mil, 5 year deal from a German club, Dortmund) but you wouldn’t know it. Haaland scored both goals for Man City and even his celebrations were ~zen:

MLB

Dodgers are current king of the hill

• The LA Dodgers swept the San Diego Padres this weekend. Now they lead the NL West and they have the best record in the entire MLB. Mookie Betts seemed pretty happy about it, although idk how happy he is about this video being on the internet:

St. Louis Cardinals lead the NL Central

• Thanks to a 3-run homer from Nolan Arenado, the Cardinals beat the Yankees yesterday and completed a 3-game sweep to edge them ahead of the Brewers in the NL Central. It’s the first time the Yankees have been swept all year, and the first time the Cardinals have swept the Yankees ever.

Mets lead the NL East

• The NY Mets won four out of five games against the Atlanta Braves & gained some control in the NL East thanks to a stellar performance by pitcher Max Scherzer in yesterday’s game. We’ve mentioned him before, but in case you forgot, he’s an animal. He threw 7 scoreless innings, struck out 11 dudes, and gave up just 4 hits.

Golf

TOM wins at Wyndham

• 20-year-old Joohyung Kim, aka “Tom”, made history yesterday after winning the 2022 Wyndham Championship at Sedgefield with a total score of -20. Kim took home $1.31mm and automatically advances to the post-season with this win. John Huh and Sungjae Im tied for second, finishing five strokes behind Kim at -15 and winning $650k each.

• So how did Kim make history? First, Kim’s strong fourth round score of 61 was the lowest final round by a player to win his first PGA Tour win since 2015. Second, he is the only player to start a Tour event with a quadruple bogey or worse (which he did) and go on to win the tournament.

Up next? Northern Trust next weekend before the BMW Championship starting August 18.

Must Watches This Week:

Monday, August 8th

• 7:00pm ET, Toronto Blue Jays vs. Baltimore Orioles, MLB

• 10:00pm ET, NY Yankees vs. Seattle Mariners, MLB

Tuesday, August 9th

• 8:00pm ET, Tampa Bay Rays vs. Milwaukee Brewers, MLB

Time Out for the Tea

Trevon Diggs went off the grid after a vid of him getting cooked went viral

• Diggs is a cornerback for the Cowboys and got absolutely smoked in practice the other day. The below video evidence went viral, and in response, Diggs deactivated his twitter account. Can’t blame him.

Coincidence? We think not.

• It was recently announced that the city of Cleveland will host the National Massage Therapists Convention later this month. The venue is barely a block away from the Browns’ stadium. Coincidence that Deshaun Watson will be just down the street while this convention is held? Defo not. More like the convention sending a message to Watson.