Ball Girl #076: Personality quiz time!

Our personality test is simple: how do you feel about Chicago Bear’s QB Justin Fields? Let me explain. The former Ohio State QB was the 11th pick overall in 2021 and Bears fans think he’s the future of their org. He’s talented. He’s gorgeous. Andddd he has absolutely no offensive line to cover him. Play after play from last night’s preseason game had Fields more exposed than me being single at a family reunion. The man is a miracle worker, completing passes with 300LB+ men on his back and/or running for his goddamn life to gain yards.

So back to our quiz — do you find these plays (and subsequent memes) absolutely hilarious or just so sad? The former? Congrats, you’re evil like me. The latter? Ew — stop being a good person.

Can I have your number?

1: LeBron James was the first black man to ever appear on the cover of Vogue, in 2008. Until that point, there had only been two other men featured on the cover ever: Richard Gere and George Clooney.

TLDR:

⚾ The Yankees are on a rollercoaster, and not the good kind — the kind where you wanna throw up halfway through. Read on for more.

🏈 The NFL and players’ union reached a settlement on the Deshaun Watson case: 11 game suspension, $5 mil fine, and mandatory behavioral assessment/counseling. Read on for why this punishment is spicy.

⛳️ After the first day at the BMW Championship, Keegan Bradley finished at the top of the leaderboard at 7-under. Bradley is looking to claim his second BMW victory in five years. Read on for more.

🎓🏈 Might we have another LIV vs. PGA golf situation afoot?! The College Football Playoff’s board apparently had a meeting earlier this week to discuss breaking away from the NCAA. Why? Because they want to feature more teams in the playoffs. More teams = more games = more $$$. We have lots of questions and very few answers so stay tuned.

🏀LeBron James signed a 2-year extension with the L.A Lakers for $97.1M (DID I STUTTER). Besides the obvious shopping spree LeBron can now go on, this is exciting for two reasons: he is officially the highest paid player in NBA history, surpassing Kevin Durant (mercury is seriously in retrograde for KD right now), and he has a better chance of playing with his son ‘Bronny, who becomes eligible in two years.

MLB

There’s hope for NY yet… JK I spoke too soon

• The Yankees got their hands on a much needed W on Wednesday in dramatic fashion to avoid being swept by the Rays. The Yankees have been on the struggle bus lately… Their record from August games so far is just 4-11, whereas the Tampa Bay Rays are inching up the ranks in the AL East. Wednesday’s game was tied and went to the 10th inning, where Josh Donaldson smashed a high fastball into the stands with the bases loaded to win it.

• The magic died quickly, though — last night the Yankees dropped to the Blue Jays, 9-2 (and the Jays are #2 in the AL East). The Yankees will need more of Wednesday’s special sauce if they’re going to hold on to their #1 spot for much longer.

NFL

Roger Goodell giving Kris Jenner

• How is the NFL commissioner giving legendary reality tv star mom, you ask? It all goes back to the Deshaun Watson case (you know, the one where 24 women came forward accusing him of sexual assault). Well, the NFL and the players association (the union) reached a settlement: an 11 game suspension, $5 million dollar fine, and mandatory behavioral assessment and counseling. The fine will go towards a fund that will be used to educate people on sexual assault.

• And the settlement is not nearly as drastic as many hoped it would be. The fine equals just 2% of Watson’s contract with the Browns, and 11 games feels random… except when you find out that his first game back is against none other than his old team, the Houston Texans. The devil works hard, Kris Jenner works harder, but Roger Goodell works the hardest, folks.

Golf

That’s a wrap on Day 1 at the BMW Championship

• After the first round at Wilmington Country Club, Keegan Bradley (pictured below) finished at the top of the leaderboard at 7-under, followed by Adam Scott in second (-6), and Harold Varner III, Shane Lowry, and Justin Thomas T3 (-5).

• Scottie Scheffler, Rory McIlroy, Xander Schauffele, Patrick Cantlay and Jordan Spieth all had good days as well, potentially looking to save up their strongest play for the back half. Bradley is looking for his second BMW Championship in the last five years, but can he do it? As is the case when you’re competing against the top 70 golfers in the world, this tournament is anyone’s game.

Side note: #2 in the world, #3 in FedEx Cup Standings, and 2022 British Open Champion withdrew from the BMW Championship

• Cameron Smith withdrew from the tournament as “He has been dealing with some on-and-off hip discomfort for several months, and thought it best to rest this week in pursuit of the FedEx Cup,’’ his agent, Bud Martin, said in a statement released by the PGA Tour. But what’s even better is the banter Smith put out after his withdrawal. Read on below.

Must Watch This Week

Friday, August 19th

• 7:00pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. NY Mets, MLB

• 7:00pm ET, NY Yankees vs. Toronto Blue Jays, MLB

Saturday, August 20th

• 12:30pm ET, Arsenal vs. Bournemouth, Premier League

• 1:00pm ET, NY Yankees vs. Toronto Blue Jays, MLB

• 1:00pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. NY Mets, MLB

• 4:00pm ET, Celta Vigo vs. Real Madrid, LaLiga

Sunday, August 21st

• 1:00pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. NY Mets, MLB

Time Out for the Tea

And the bachelor is…

• Since Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson broke up, fans are wondering who Kim’s next boy toy will be. Chris Evans, Cincinnati Bengals running back, reacted rather quickly to his apparent odds.