Ball Girl #084: I’ve found my spirit animal for this weekend.

Luka Dončić POPPED OFF at the EuroBasket tournament earlier this week. He dropped 47 points against France, the second most in a game in tournament history. Talk about getting that baguette! To top it off, LD has lost a ton of weight this summer. He looks good. He’s playing fuego. He’s just as goofy as ever. The perfect man DOES exist, ladies. Don’t settle unless you find yourself a Luka.

Can I have your number?

1987: The first year Tiffany & Co. produced the U.S. Open Trophy. Tiffany has been producing the trophy ever since, which always weighs 10lbs and stands 18in tall.

*Pictured above: Emma Raducanu accepting trophy last year after winning US Open Women’s Singles.*

TLDRs

🎾Iga Świątek defeated Jessica Pegula (2-0), and Aryna Sabalenka defeated Karolina Pliskova (2-0) in the US Open women’s quarterfinals on Wednesday. Also on Wednesday, Carlos Alcaraz Garfia defeated Jannik Sinner (3-0), and Frances Tiafoe defeated Andrey Rublev (3-0) in the men’s quarterfinals. Yesterday, Iga Swiatek defeated Aryna Sabalenka (2-1), and Ons Jabeur defeated Caroline Garcia (2-0) in the women’s semi-final. Swiatek (#1) and Jabeur (#5) advance to the women’s finals Saturday, while the men are one day behind and will play in the semi-finals today / finals Sunday (finalists TBD). See below for must-watch matches.

🏁 Ladies, get those chef’s kiss emojis ready, because this weekend we are going to the Italian Grand Prix. All eyes are on Ferrari — literally. The team will be wearing yellow helmets to celebrate their 75th anniversary in F1. But also if you missed the Dutch Grand Prix last weekend, Ferrari’s crew made a massive mistake. They forgot the 4th wheel during Carlos Sainz’ pit stop (costing him 12 seconds) and then left a drill out on the paddock. TBD if they can get their act together for the home crowd.

🏈  We got our first taste of NFL football last night, and boy was it sweet. Read on for more.

🎓🏈 It’s raining 💰 for Clemson’s head coach Dabo Sweeney, who just got a 10-year $115M contract extension. Talk about job security, sheesh. Meanwhile, CFB nation prepares for some stellar battles this weekend, most notably Alabama vs. Texas, IMO. Alabama is historically the most consistent team in the league, whereas Texas is… well, perhaps the most inconsistent. Texas has been working on a glow up for sometime now, though, and with newbie QB Quinn Ewers at the helm, this year might be theirs for the taking.

⚾ The MLB announced that they’re introducing several BIG rule changes starting next season. Among the changes are the introduction of a pitch clock (meaning the pitcher has 15 seconds to pitch, he can’t d*ck around), bigger bases 😗, and eliminating “the shift”, which is when fielders strategically stand in places where the batter is most likely to hit the ball. All of this is to make the game more fun to watch (in other words, the MLB is tryna stay relevant).

⚽ Liverpool suffered a humiliating 4-1 defeat to Napoli in their opening game of Champions League play on Wednesday. Reminder, the Champions League is a competition of top football clubs from across Europe. Liverpool manager Klopp commented afterwards, “looks like, we have to reinvent ourselves…”. Sounds too similar to myself every Sunday morning looking back at my texts after a bender 🙃.

NFL

NFL is officially back, and I sense a new queen bee!

The defending Super Bowl champs, the LA Rams, fell to this year’s Super Bowl favorite, the Buffalo Bills. It’s looking like the Bills might just be on their way to the NFL’s version of homecoming queen (the Lombardi trophy). Buffalo’s offense completely stole the show, outscoring the Rams, 31-10.

• Gabe Davis (Bills) secured the first touchdown of the season via an easy lob from Allen. If this is any indicator for how the season is going to go for the Bills…

• Cooper Kupp had a ridiculous two toe touch touchdown for the Rams’ first touchdown.

• Josh Allen looked like he was having the time of his life out there. He threw some darts, including an epic long route to Gabe Davis, ran one in for a touchdown himself, and even tossed a nasty stiff arm in the third quarter (see below).

• Stefon Diggs connected with Allen on some crazy runs, including this one that ended in a touchdown:

• The only defensive highlights I’ll mention, No. 99 Aaron Donald (Rams) got his 99th career sack (sack = tackling the QB before he can get the pass off). On the other side, Von Miller (Bills) had no trouble getting a couple sacks of his own, and against his old teammates, no less. Overall, the Bills defense had 3 interceptions, not too shabby.

TLDR; the Rams have a lot to work on after Week 1, and the Bills have a lot to celebrate. And the best part is, we don’t have to wait too long for more football… NFL games will take up tv time on Thursday, Sunday and Monday nights from now on. At least I think that’s good news… Depends on how passionate your boy toy feels about his fantasy football team.

Must Watch This Week

Today, Friday, September 8

• 🎾 3:00pm ET, US Open Men’s Singles semifinal, Karen Khachanov (#27) vs. Casper Ruud (#5)

• 🎾 3:00pm ET, US Open Men’s Singles semifinal, Alcaraz Garfia (#3) vs. Tiafoe (#22)

Tomorrow, Saturday, September 9

• 🎾 4:00pm ET, US Open Women’s Singles Final, Iga Swiatek (#1) vs. Ons Jabeur (#5)

• 🎓🏈 12:00pm ET, Alabama (#1) vs. Texas

• 🎓🏈 7:00pm ET, Kentucky (#20) vs. Florida (#12)

• 🎓🏈 7:30pm ET, USC (#10) vs. Stanford

Sunday, September 10

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Cleveland Browns vs. Carolina Panthers

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Jacksonville Jaguars vs. Washington Commanders

• 🎾 4pm ET, US Open Men’s Singles Final, TBD

• 🏈 4:25pm ET, Las Vegas Raiders vs. LA Chargers

• 🏈 4:25pm ET, Kansas City Chiefs vs. Arizona Cardinals

Time Out for the Tea

Sports fans go crazy over Russell Wilson & Ciara’s new Colorado digs

• After signing for the Denver Broncos, Russell Wilson and hottie wife Ciara have found a new $25mil home in Colorado, which fans are going crazy over… but not in a good way. The home has 4 bedrooms and TWELVE bathrooms, as well as what many would call an ‘inadequate’ basketball court. Not really sure what that means or why they need 12 bathrooms (I thought Kim K was the one with tummy issues?) but social media is aflame: