Ball Girl #086: Humpday can drive you to do crazy things

Jordan Poole is the next big thing for the Golden State Warriors' franchise. He’s also a bit of a casanova — although we don’t shame those who like to flirt! He notoriously gave ESPN reporter Malika Andrews EYESSSS during an interview last year, and now he’s hitting up Zendaya PUBLICLY in Instagram comments. I mean, I don’t blame him. It’s Zendaya. But he’s got some much shorter but oh so adorable competition in your friendly neighborhood Spiderman, Tom Holland.

Can I have your number?

1,000: Years it would take to get off the waitlist for Green Bay Packers season tickets if you signed up today. For context, as few as 750 (+/-) tickets change hands each year, and between 2018 and 2019, 99.4% of season ticket holders renewed. Good luck, Packers fans.

TLDRs

🏁 Aston Martin Driver Sebastian Vettel received a wrist slap for criticizing Italy’s 81-year-old president Sergio Mattarell. Mattarell arranged an air show before the Italian Grand Prix this weekend and Vettel described it as “unnecessary carbon emissions.” On the one hand, Vettel, babe, you are so not wrong — you stick up for our one-and-only Earth! But on the other hand, your entire career was built on carbon-emitting vehicles…

🎓🏈 College Football Nation is still reeling from how the Sun Belt conference (immediately consults google for where that is) beat two top ten ranked teams this past weekend: #8 Notre Dame and #6 Texas A&M. Did we overestimate the top teams in the AP poll, or have we been overlooking the power of any given Saturday?

⚾ The LA Dodgers have officially clinched a playoff spot, and they’re so good, they did it twice. Confused? Read on for more.

⛳ The PGA Fortinet Championship kicks off tomorrow at Silverado Resort and Spa (North Course) in Napa, CA. And the LIV Golf Invitational Chicago starts Friday at Rich Harvest Farms, right outside of Chi Town in Sugar Grove, IL.

🏈 Russell Wilson (Denver Broncos), one of the best QBs in the league, faced off against his old team, the Seattle Seahawks, on Monday night. He and the Broncos lost due to bad time management and a sideways field goal. Wilson’s old backup QB when he played for the Seahawks, Geno Smith, had an incredible game to lead the Seahawks to victory, and spit one of the best lines in post-game interview history:

MLB

Dodgers make playoffs a month early

• Much like Dads across the country who need to get to the airport 3 full days in advance, the LA Dodgers went ahead and secured their playoff spot on Monday night, 4 weeks ahead of the first scheduled playoff game.

• However, the MLB incorrectly announced that the Dodgers had clinched a playoff spot on Sunday night. Turns out their ~mathematical equations~ didn’t take into account an edge case in which the Padres somehow become the best team in the league and overtake the Dodgers. In the end, it didn’t matter, because the very next day the Dodgers won again to clinch the spot. They can’t be stopped!

• They make jokes like your dad, too (see below). Yes, the whole team did a costumed photoshoot… for context, they used to just make rookies do it as a sort of initiation, until the whole team realized how fun it is to dress up and take pics together. Now it’s an annual tradition.

Must Watch This Week:

Wednesday September 14th

• ⚾ 4:00pm ET, San Diego Padres vs. Seattle Mariners

• ⚾ 7:00pm ET, Tampa Bay Rays vs. Toronto Blue Jays

Thursday, September 15th

• ⚾ 3:00pm ET, Tampa Bay Rays vs. Toronto Blue Jays

• ⚾ 7:45pm ET, Cincinnati Reds vs. St. Louis Cardinals

• 🏈 8:15pm ET, LA Chargers @ Kansas City Chiefs