Ball Girl #101: Going into this weekend with TB12’s mindset

When Tom Brady was asked when he might retire, he gave the same answer I give to my parents when asked when I’m going to stop binge drinking: “There is no retirement in my future”

I mean, the man has quite literally given up everything for the chance to keep playing, including a supermodel, millionaire, potential witch of a wife. He’s just GOING for it at this point and honestly? I’m kinda here for it.

Can I have your number?

7: Lifespan of an MLB baseball in a major league game (in number of pitches).

TLDRs

⛳Yesterday was the first day of the CJ Cup, which will last through Sunday. After R1, Trey Mullinax and Gary Woodland are neck and neck at 6-under for the day.

🏁 Grab your cowboy boots and your cowboy hat that I know you have hiding in your closet from that costume party last year — this weekend, F1 comes back to the grand ol’ USA in none other than Austin, Texas. Unsurprisingly, Red Bull’s Max Verstappen is the favorite — a dub would mark his 13th 1st-place podium this season and Red Bull’s 8th consecutive win.

🎓🏈 Week 8 of college football is here, y’all, and believe it or not, this marks the halfway point of the regular season. Now that’s what I call SPOOKY. The slate of games is relatively calm with the (seemingly) biggest games coming from the middle of the pack. Be sure to check out Texas vs. Oklahoma State: Texas is the ranking ‘underdog’ but Oklahoma State is probs going to miss their star QB Spencer Sanders from a shoulder injury. The Longhorns have a shot to slide into a higher ranking (mentally cue Calvin Harris’ “Doo doo doo doo doo doo” from Slide).

🏈 The Arizona Cardinals faced off against the New Orleans Saints last night for Thursday night football, and it was an absolute HEATER, y’all. After the first half, the Saints were on a roll, and the Cards were so frustrated that their head coach Kliff Kingsbury (yeah, that’s his real name) and Kyler Murray (QB) got into a yelling match. (I would say be professional but you lost a shot at that when your parents named you Kliff.) Then Andy Dalton, Saints’ QB, threw TWO back to back pick sixes (when you throw an interception and its run for a touchdown), and the tides turned for the Cards. The Cardinals came out on top, final score, 42-34. OH AND. Christian McCaffrey, freak of nature runningback, was just traded to the 49ers for like every one of the Panthers’ good draft pick spots over the next couple years. This is a massive deal… could the 49ers actually make a run for it this year, now with QB Jimmy G and RB McCaffrey?

🏀 Last night was like the sequel to Tuesday’s season opener with the Philadelphia 76ers once again looking good (or well, James Harden actually scoring, unlike majority of last year) but not being able to close the deal. Meanwhile, the L.A Lakers fell to another California rival, this one closer to home in the form of the L.A Clippers. This game was at least close, with the Clippers winning 103-97, but the Lakers are looking as shaky as my hand after a night of binge drinking and cigarettes.

⚾ The Astros continue to keep the muzzle on the Yankees, defeating them last night, 3-2, to go up 2-0 in the series so far. Framber Valdez put up a stunning pitching performance for the Astros, with 7 innings pitched, 9 strikeouts and just 4 hits. The Yankees haven’t been able to get anything going against the ‘Stros — they’ve amounted 30 strikeouts in the last two games. But this is a 7 game series, so there is still a ways to go…

🏒 Well, things just got interesting — everyone’s been talking about how the New York Ranger’s are looking hotter than the one chip challenge, but they lost to the WIN-LESS San Jose sharks last night. IDK if it was pity or what but the Rangers lost 3-2 in OT. Meanwhile, the Carolina Hurricanes entered the season as the Stanley Cup favorites (men make fun of us for going to tarot card readers and loving astrology, meanwhile they try to predict who’s going to win a silver chalice in JUNE). Well, they lost 6-4 to the Edmonton Oilers. Unlike the Rangers, Carolina lost to a VERY solid team. I’m not even saying we overestimated Carolina but maybe it’s time to start paying attention to this team from butt f** nowhere in Canada, where literally all they have to do is play hockey.

Time out for the Tea:

PGA Tour (officially) ups the ante

• As we all know, the PGA tour has been in constant competition with the new Saudi-backed LIV Golf Tour, which has blown away the PGA Tour in terms of payouts per tournament. It comes with no surprise that the PGA Tour has officially (as this was idea-ballooned back in the summer) announced increased purses for four tournaments (to remain remotely competitive with LIV payouts). For this year, those four are The WM Phoenix Open, RBC Heritage, the Wells Fargo Championship and the Travelers Championship. Each will have a minimum $20mm purse. However, the tournament receiving increased purses will rotate each season between 13 different tournaments. To illustrate just how big of a deal this is, the RBC Heritage purse will increase $16mm (from $8mm to $20mm) this season.

BG turns 32 in Russian Prison

• Brittney Griner (who has been in a Russian Prison since February) released the following statement on her 32nd Birthday, which she spent behind bars in Russia.

Camille Kostek rooting for Tom & Giselle

• Camille Kostek, long-time girlfriend of Rob Gronkowski (frequently known as Gronk, who has played alongside Tom Brady for his entire career before retiring in June), was recently spotted at LAX and was asked by paparazzi if she thought Tom Brady and Giselle Bünchen could work out their issues (that have recently bubbled into divorce filing). Camille replied "yes" twice, and then said, "I love Tom and Gisele so much."

Deshaun Jackson faces TWENTY-FIFTH lawsuit, following (another) sexual misconduct allegation

• And, sadly, we’re not surprised. Following this latest lawsuit, the NFL issued the following statement: “Watson’s status remains unchanged. We will monitor developments in the newly-filed litigation; and any conduct that warrants further investigation or possible additional sanctions would be addressed within the Personal Conduct Policy.”

Must Watch This Week

Friday October 21st

• 🏀 7:30pm ET, Boston Celtics vs. Miami Heat

• 🏀 7:30pm ET, Brooklyn Nets vs. Toronto Raptors

• 🏒7:30pm ET, Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Florida Panthers

Saturday October 22nd

• 🎓🏈 12:00pm ET, #14 Syracuse vs. #5 Clemson

• 🎓🏈 3:30pm ET, #11 OK State vs. #20 Texas

• 🎓🏈 3:30pm ET, #9 UCLA vs #10 Oregon

• 🏒 4:00pm ET, St. Louis Blues vs. Edmonton Oilers

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Tampa Bay Lightning vs. NY Islanders

• ⚾ 7:45pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. San Diego Padres

• 🏀 8:30pm ET, Dallas Mavericks vs. Memphis Grizzlies

Sunday October 23rd

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Carolina Panthers vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Jacksonville Jaguars vs. NY Giants

• 🏈 4:25pm ET, San Francisco 49ers vs. Kansas City Chiefs

• ⚾ 2:30pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. San Diego Padres

• ⚾ 7:00pm ET, NY Yankees vs. Houston Astros

• 🏀 10:00pm ET, L.A Clippers vs. Pheonix Suns