Ball Girl #101: Trade Shakes and Power Plays

Let’s unpack the trade surprises, star glow-ups, and gossip spicy enough to distract us all from other national events…

🏈 NFL Trade Moves: Ballers Getting Passed Around Like Free Tequila Shots

The NFL trade deadline yesterday served pure chaos, and teams were swapping players like numbers at a nightclub. Here’s the hot gossip on who’s going where:

• DeAndre Hopkins (WR, Kansas City Chiefs): KC bagged Hopkins like he’s the last size 7 heel at a designer sale. And he got right to work. He showed up big as another target for Mahomes on Monday night & scored a touchdown to help the Chiefs secure the W in their close game against the Buccaneers.

• Za’Darius Smith (Def. End, Detroit Lions): Detroit snagged this powerhouse to put some serious bite in their pass rush after losing star Aiden Hutchinson to a leg injury. The Lions are looking fierce—think cat eyes but meaner.

• Marshon Lattimore (CB, Washington Commanders): Saints sent this heartthrob to DC, adding some swagger to the Commanders’ defense. Keep your eyes on Lattimore—if his plays don’t make you swoon, his jawline will.

🏀 NBA Season Shifts: Glow-Ups (Or Downs?)

The NBA is kicking off, and if you thought your ex had a glow-up, wait until you see this season’s stars. It’s a full vibe shift on the hardwood:

• Luka Doncic (PG, Dallas Mavericks): Luka has had a tough start to the season, but showed up in big in the Mavs win against Orlando on Sunday. Maybe things are turning around for him? His new haircut is a different story... On the one hand, its giving “hot rat man vibes,” you know, that aesthetic we popularized post Challengers movie. On the other, it kinda looks like a mullet….that died.

• Kevin Durant (SF, Phoenix Suns): The Suns want that title like you want a last-minute coffee on a hungover Monday morning — if their most recent game was any indication. They narrowly defeated the 76ers in a buzzer beater in which Kevin Durant dropped a casual 35 points. Things are heating up in the desert.

• Steph Curry (PG, Golden State Warriors): Golden State is giving main character energy with their 6-1 start to the season. More importantly, Steph Curry is back like he never left after missing 3 games due to injury. Are we looking at the Warriors’ “revenge era?”

@bleacherreport

Luka got a new look this season #luka #lukadoncic #nba

⏳ Time Out for the Tea

Sizzling Gossip You Didn't Know You Needed

• Tom Brady and Bachelor Life: After news of Giselle’s pregnancy broke, Tom shared a cryptic instagram story featuring the “Man in the Arena” quote by Teddy Roosevelt. He was the man in that arena for a while but not anymore… Now rumor is that he’s on the dating circuit as well. Giselle’s creating the “family man” (and baby daddy) she never had, while TB12 is just trying to find himself... and maybe a new fling.

• Joel Embiid, NBA’s sweetheart, suspended (and I respect him more for it): Philly center Joel Embiid was suspended for three games after he shoved Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Marcus Hayes in a post-game confrontation. Hayes had definitively crossed the line, bringing up Embiid’s son and late brother in an article criticizing Embiid for missing games due to injury. We love a man who stands on his honor. Sorry not sorry!!

That’s the latest from the field, court, and everywhere in between. Until next time, keep your eye on the prize—and the tea.