Ball Girl #103: I. AM. IRON. MAN.

Learning time! In the NHL, playing 500 consecutive regular season games is considered a highly significant achievement that has been dubbed an “Iron Man” streak. For reference, there are 82 games in a season, so you’re looking at ~6+ years to even get in this category. Well, Phil Kessel of the Vegas Golden Knights officially holds the longest one (STREAK! MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER PEOPLE) having played in his 990th game last night.

Amazing accomplishment, no doubt, but gotta say… this dude does not look like the Tony Stark I remember from DC’s Marvel…

Can I have your number?

0: Number of Tampa Bay Bucs games Gisele (Tom Brady’s wife) has been to this season. There have been 7 thus far, so if that’s not indication of the ~tension~ then I don’t know what is…

TLDRs

⛳The Bermuda Championship is next up this weekend, taking place in — you guessed it — Bermuda at Port Royal Golf Course. The joke stirring around the PGA right now is that the strongest field early in the 2022-23 PGA Tour season (last weekend at the CJ Cup) is followed by the weakest (…this tournament), given that none of the top players will be competing. Nonetheless, rookies are jumping for joy as many players could be in contention for their first Tour win.

🏈 MNF was full of drama. The New England Patriots faced off against the Chicago Bears, and Bill Belichick (Patriots head coach) proved he is harsher than morning sunlight on a hangover. He benched starting QB Mac Jones after 3 failed drives and put in backup QB Bailey Zappe. Zappe led the Patriots to 2 touchdowns in his first two possessions and had the stands rumbling that we might be witnessing the beginnings of the next Tom Brady. But Zappe’s success was shortlived, and the Patriots couldn’t hold off Justin Fields and the Bears, who led drive after drive for a blowout win, 33-14.

⚾ Game 1 of the fall classic is just two days away!!

🏒 New Yorkers might wanna switch from being basketball to hockey fans because the Rangers are looking really good… last night, the boys in blue went toe to toe with the Colorado Avalanche (Stanley Cup winners of last year). They took the Av’s to OVERTIME SHOOTOUTS. They eventually lost 3-2 but to the rest of the NHL, message received: the NY Rangers are here to cause trouble.

🏀 The Phoenix Suns have that Kardashian blessin’ (for now): ICYMI, Devin Booker is the star of the Phoenix Suns. He is also the boyfriend of supermodel Kendall Jenner, yes, of the Kardashians, and my constant reminder that there is no such thing as ugly (only poor). It seems whenever someone is dating a Kardashian, their team excels, but the second they breakup, that team and that player become staler than the half drunk bottle of wine thats been in my fridge for 6 months. Well, Booker and the Suns’ DOMINATED the Golden State Warriors last night (last years NBA Champions) 134-105. Booker scored 34 of those points with KJ in the stands no doubt. JK. More like with KJ courtside but you get the idea.

NBA

Didn’t know I was religious until now because I’m looking for Zion

• Zion Williams, Duke basketball PHENOM, was the #1 pick overall by the New Orleans Pelicans in the 2019 NBA draft. At 6’6, 280 pounds, the Pelicans recognized that he is a BIG BOY who can dominate a court. And dominate he did while at Duke, AVERAGING 22+ points a game.

• There was a lot of buzz around Zion as he entered the NBA summer league, but immediately upon the commencement of training camp, it was announced that he had a broken right foot and would need surgery. AKA, he’d be out for the season.

• Flash forward to the 2022/2023 season and Zion has stepped on the court for 85 games to date (regular season has 82 games, post season can add an addition 15-20+). He has had to constantly battled injuries from his foot, his knee, and most recently his hip causing him to sit out last nights game against the Dallas Mavericks. Not to mention he’s been relentlessly hounded by Twitter trolls for his weight. Even Shaq and Charles Barkley had some fun, joking how he looked like the two of them had a baby, and not in a good way.

• But could this be the year we FINALLY get to see Zion in full action? He once again garnered a lot of attention for playing lights out in summer league and in training camp and his hip injury mentioned above was only a ‘contusion’ (fancy word for mega bruise). He should be ready to play by next week latest, and from what we saw in training camp, he’s ready to go. Not to mention he looks like he’s lost a TON of weight from last season. Zion is light, tight, and ready to fight… but will his body stay healthy and give him the opportunity to?

Time Out for the Tea

This shit just got real (…we think)

• Just in from a couple of sources that are hit or miss on reliability (but generally pretty damn reliable…), such as The Daily Mail, reported that Gisele Bünchen hired “Florida’s top divorce lawyer after splitting with Tom Brady as split turns nasty and they prepare to battle over their assets.” Oi. We have to admit; we’re sad to see this go…