Ball Girl #104: Buzzer Beaters, Burglaries & a Bride-to-be

It’s Wednesday, and whether you’re powering through work, swiping through dating apps, or texting your mom to ask “do I look fat in this photo,” we’re here to give you a midweek distraction almost as good as that first happy hour martini. This edition we’ve got: game-winning shots, superstar comebacks, breakups, burglaries, and even wedding drama! Grab your coffee, or that third Celsius, and let’s break it down.

🏀 NBA - Big Wins, Bigger Returns

• Cavs Take 12 Wins in a Row… Who's Gonna Stop Them?
  The Cleveland Cavaliers, led by shooting guard Donovan Mitchell, are 12-0 after edging out the Chicago Bulls 119-113 Monday night. They’re the last undefeated team standing, and just the eighth NBA team in history to start 12-0 or better. Young star Evan Mobley threw down a jaw-dropping alley-oop to finish the game, but the play of the night? A trippy 360-degree layup by Mitchell. While Mitchell had Bulls fans in a chokehold, the rest of us are living for this new Cavs chapter. Next up? They face Joel Embiid’s Sixers, who are desperate for a win. If the Cavs pull it off, they’ll tie the longest win streak in team history.

• Joel Embiid’s Season Debut
  Center Joel Embiid returned to the court last night for the 76ers game against the New York Knicks after being injured. The Sixers are in a rough patch that’s got Philly fans crying into their cheesesteaks. Unfortunately, even Embiid’s return couldn’t pull them out of it; the Knicks took the Sixers down, 111-99. And it’ll be a minute before Embiid is fully back — Sixers coach Nick Nurse will be rationing Embiid’s minutes like it’s the last chocolate bar in the house — so Philly is going to have to come up with a plan B to revive their season.

• Klay’s Homecoming… But as a Dallas Maverick
  He’s baaaack! Klay Thompson stepped onto the Warriors’ Chase Center court last night for the first time since leaving the Warriors for the Dallas Mavericks in free agency. Fans were more than hyped to see their ex-Splash Brother and happily donned captain hats handed out by the Warriors to honor him (Thompson used to drive his boat to games). The Warriors also put together a sweet tribute video before promising to “still beat you” — which they did narrowly, 120-117, thanks to a clutch Steph Curry three in the 4th quarter. It was a night full of cheers, tears, and some brotherly back-and-forth between Klay and his old flame, Steph.

🏈 NFL - Miami Breaks the Curse, Tua Cracks a Joke

• Dolphins Snap Their Losing Streak
  Six-Ls doesn’t become seven! The Miami Dolphins snapped out of their losing skid Monday night, beating the Rams 23-15. Rookie wide receiver Malik Washington got his first NFL touchdown (cue confetti), while wide receiver Tyreek Hill ended his seven-game touchdown drought. And the real MVP? Miami’s defense held the Rams offense to just field goals all night. Meanwhile, QB Tua Tagovailoa joked about his “tackling” skills after a questionable interception play, proving that he’s got dad-joke energy on and off the field. Miami plays the Raiders next, and we’ll see if this spark can turn into a full-on glow up.

🏒 NHL - Avalanche Dominate, Stars Light Up the Ice

• Colorado Avalanche Edge Predators in OT Thriller
  In a game that could rival a reality show finale, Samuel Girard (defenseman) secured a 3-2 overtime victory for the Avalanche against the Predators. Girard stole the puck, dodged a penalty, and scored on a breakaway. If James Bond were a hockey player (Daniel Craig version OBVI), this would be his highlight reel. Next, they head to San Jose, ready to keep the frosty energy going.

• Dallas Stars Go Nuclear on Penguins
  The Dallas Stars did not come to play — they came to slay. They shut down the Penguins with a 7-1 win, scoring six of those goals in the first 20 minutes alone. Forward Mason Marchment was on fire, putting in four of those goals. If the Penguins didn’t need therapy before, they do now — Dallas basically handed them a breakup text that read, “You can’t sit with us”.

🍿 Gossip Corner - When Athletes Go Viral Off the Field

• Ochocinco’s Wedding: Date Set, Bride…TBD?
  Former NFL star Chad ‘Ochocinco’ Johnson is officially unhinged, and in the best way. He recently split with longtime fiancée Sharelle Rosado but insists he’s still getting married in February. To whom, you ask? He has no idea. On his podcast, Chad announced he’s walking down the aisle “with someone” and has already booked musical legends Brian McKnight, Anthony Hamilton, and John Legend to serenade his mystery bride. Consider this Chad’s version of “The Bachelorette,” only there’s just one rose and an open bar.

• For Once, the Chiefs are the Ones Getting Robbed
  Unfortunately, we mean this literally! In the latest episode of Real Housewives of the NFL, Travis Kelce’s mansion was robbed — while girlfriend Taylor Swift was in town. Thieves nabbed $20K in cash. Apparently Kansas City Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes was also targeted, though it’s unclear what (if anything) was stolen from his property. The gossip? Sources think the heist may have been connected to a string of local burglaries. Taylor Swift reportedly threw a private party for Kelce’s birthday, so at least they had some fun before the nightmare unfolded. Seriously, can’t a girl throw a party without the drama?

• Raygun Inspires Vikings’ Cam Bynum
  Minnesota Vikings safety Cam Bynum turned his latest interception into a viral moment by mimicking Australian Olympic breakdancer Raygun in his celebration dance. The Aussie icon reposted Cam’s moves, calling them “WILD.” We don’t know if he’ll get an Olympic medal (or her signature zero points score), but he’s won Raygun’s heart — and ours. Cam, keep dancing. We love a TikTok-worthy celebration.

✨ Final Buzzer: That’s a Wrap! ✨

And there you have it, Ballers. From game-winners to off-the-field gossip — all the stuff your group chat will love. Catch you in the next play-by-play!