Ball Girl #104: Tom Brady and Gisele are officially divorcing.

Spookiest thing that’s happened to me this October? Tom Brady officially instagramming that him and Gisele Bundchen are getting divorced. Look we all knew it was coming but I couldn’t help but holding out hope….and for what. Love is a lie. Monogamy is dead. My future as a crazy cat lady is basically solidified.

Can I have your number?

94: Oldest Pro Football Hall of Fame inductee (at time of induction). The accolade goes to Ed Sabol who, at 94 years old, was 60 years older than the youngest Hall of Fame inductee, Gale Sayers.

TLDRs

🏁 Well, Red Bull’s already won the World Driver’s Championship and the Constructor’s Championship, aka, the only season accomplishments that really matter in F1. Even so, we have three races left, and this weekend’s is in Mexico. Can you imagine a team winning the Super Bowl before the end of the season? Or another winning the Stanley Cup? No, it’s weird and unique to F1, but then again, everything about this sport is pretty weird and wonderful. Let’s be honest, we are still watching for the beautiful cars, and even more beautiful drivers.

🎓🏈 Week 9 of college football coming right up! We have a ton of great games for this halloweekend, and in spirit, things are ‘bout to get SpOoKy. My must watch? #2 Ohio State vs. #13 Penn State. Everyone has overlooked Penn State since they lost to Michigan 17-41 earlier this month. But Penn State is still a great football team. Ohio, on the other hand, has a stellar offense but a shaky defense at best. If there was ever an opportunity for an upset, this is it, folks.

🏈 Thursday night football resulted in some seriously spooky outcomes. Read on for more.

⚾ Game 1 of the World Series is TONIGHT: we finally get to see these two teams face off. Look out for Altuve and Peña on the Astros, and Schwarber and Harper on the Phillies.

🏒 The Vancouver Canucks are riding the STRUGGLE BUS right now. Earlier this week against the Buffalo Sabres, they held a 5-1 lead. A gap like that feels difficult to blow, right? WRONG. The Canucks fell to Buffalo in the final minutes of the game, at which point Canucks fans literally threw their jerseys onto the ice. Mind you; this is the Canucks’ 6th straight loss of the season. That’s even worse than the L.A Lakers (read below). Sorry ‘bout it, eh?

⛳The 2022 Bermuda Championship is underway at Port Royal Golf Course. After R1, Austin Smotherman and Harrison Endycott sit at the top of the leaderboard at 9-under, trailed closely by FIVE players tied at 8-under.

🏀 The L.A. Lakers are 0-4 in the season thus far, and this is the first time LeBron has started off a season with this many consecutive losses since his rookie year in 2003, AKA, when I was 6 years old. Unsurprisingly, this puts them at DEAD LAST in the Western Conference. Meanwhile, in the east, the Milwaukee Bucks are the only undefeated team left in the league at 3-0. Hate to 💩 on Ben Simmons,’ but Giannis blocked his shot, then made fun of him for being too small (Simmons is 6'10'' for reference). Yes. I am a Nets’ fan and this even made me laugh.

NFL

Its officially spooky szn: Tom Brady is on a losing streak. And getting divorced. Look's like every 25-55 year-old man's God is a human after all.

• Last night, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers dropped to the Baltimore Ravens, 27-22, and the Bucs and Tom Brady are officially on a three game losing streak.

• Are we in the upside down? Because the last time Tom Brady lost three games in a row was in 2002. Let me repeat. 2002. Lamar Jackson (current Ravens QB) was 5 years old. This feels eerily similar to LeBron’s recent bout of losses… What is in the air these days. Did some galactic energy shift and send us into an alternate timeline or something…?! Or are our heroes (and us) just getting old… 💀 I prefer the other explanation.

• The game was close until the second half, when the Ravens pulled ahead thanks to Lamar Jackson executing on every drive. And the Ravens are even missing some of their best receivers. Says a lot about Jackson… He made it work. Meanwhile, the Bucs couldn’t get it going. Granted, Brady isn’t looking his best, but the rest of the Bucs need to take some heat for this, too.

• As if it couldn’t get any worse for Brady, he also set the record last night for being the QB with the most sacks. The magic number? 555. Angel numbers, baby. And guess what 555 represents? “Transition, freedom and adventure.” I’ll say… Except this particular one means that a giant man has brought Brady to the ground over 500 times, not so cute.

Time out for the Tea

Brittney Griner set to begin 9+ year sentence in Russian prison

• Brittney Griner’s appeal was denied by a Russian court, which means she will begin her 9+ year sentence there. The U.S government continues to deem her arrest “wrongful detainment.” Griner’s lawyers stated, “We are very disappointed… We still think the punishment is excessive and contradicts to the existing court practice.” President Biden continues to be “very clear that Brittney should be released immediately.”

Must Watch:

Friday October 28th

• 🏀 7:30pm ET, Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Boston Celtics

• 🏀 8:00pm ET, NY Knicks vs. Milwaukee Bucks

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Houston Astros vs. Philadelphia Phillies

Saturday October 29th

• 🎓🏈7:00pm ET, Kentucky vs. Tennessee

• 🎓🏈 12:00pm ET, Ohio State vs. Penn State

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Carolina Hurricanes vs. Philadelphia Flyers

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Houston Astros vs. Philadelphia Phillies

• 🏀 8:00pm ET, Chicago Bulls vs. Philadelphia 76ers

Sunday October 30th

• 🎂 All day, Happy Birthday to THE ball girl herself, founder Olivia O.! We love u <3

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Philadelphia Eagles vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

• 🏈 4:25pm ET, Seattle Seahawks vs. NY Giants

• 🏈 4:25pm ET, LA Rams vs. SF 49ers

• 🏈 8:20pm ET, Buffalo Bills vs. Green Bay Packers

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Minnesota Wild vs. Chicago Blackhawks