Ball Girl #105: Eagles players collectively role played dogs for Halloween game

And you thought you were in dire straights this Monday? One of the referees bungled a call so bad in yesterday’s Eagles/Steelers game that he laughed while giving the call. It’s giving Joe Biden. The context? The call was made on a field goal play, and there’s a rule that defensive players can’t shout at the offense and confuse them on a field goal (like, they can’t say “set HUT” and throw off the offense). Well, Eagles players are so nuts that instead of shouting, they barked — BARKED — at the Steelers to try to mess them up. Hence the call, and the referee ~stumbling over his words (how does one explain “you can’t bark” as a penalty??). Philly is just a bunch of dawgs! 

Can I have your number?

3,966: NHL record for career minutes spent in the penalty box. The accolade goes to Dave Williams, who played 14 NHL seasons before retiring in 1988. Including playoff minutes, that’s 4,421 penalty box minutes.

TLDRs

⛳ Séamus Power (of Ireland) won the Bermuda Championship yesterday, finishing 1-under for the day and 19-under for the tournament, just one stroke ahead of Thomas Detry (of Belgium) who finished 18-under for the tournament with a strong 4-under R4.

🏁 Red Bull’s Max Verstappen won the Mexico Grand Prix this weekend. As a reminder, he already won the World Driver’s Championship this year. With this 14th win, he now holds the RECORD for the most wins in a single season by a driver. Meanwhile, Ferrari wasn’t even on the podium. So much for a rivalry on our hands this season.

🎓🏈 Week 9 is done and dusted, and top takeaways are: 1) Ohio State’s defense is SHAKEY… like my legs after a Barry’s Bootcamp class level. They almost lost to Syracuse this past weekend but pulled off a win with minutes left in the fourth quarter. 2) Tennessee demolished Kentucky with a crushing 44-6 win. As a reminder, Tennessee just beat Alabama. They are now #2 in the AP Poll tied with Ohio State. 3) Michigan and Michigan State have a mega rivalry, and this week the drama came OFF the field when two of Michigan’s players were shoved and kicked in the stadium tunnel following their 29-7 win. The incident is being investigated but talk about some serious unsportsmanlike conduct.

⚾ Two games into the World Series and the Phillies and Astros are tied, 1-1. In an electric game on Friday, the Phillies came back from a 5-run deficit to tie it up, and Realmuto hit a bomb in the 10th to get the Phils the win. Then on Saturday, Framber Valdez put on a lights out performance at the mound to even it up for the ‘Stros. Game 3 is tonight at Philly!

🏒 You know how sometimes there are those twins where one is an absolute smokeshow, and the other is well, lacking in physical and mental features? Well, that’s how I used to think of the NY Rangers and the NY Islanders, respectively. However, the Islanders beat the Rangers 0-3 for their first matchup the season, and THEN they went out Saturday and scored five goals in a row to take down the former Stanley Cup champs, the Colorado Avalanche. Are the Islanders having, dare I say, a glow up?!

🏀 Remember the saying, “A house divided against itself cannot stand”? Yes. I know it was ORIGINALLY said by Abraham Lincoln, but let’s be real, we all remember it from Night at the Museum 2. Well, anywayssss, it’s proving true once again in the form of the Brooklyn Nets. There is serious beef between Kevin Durant and coach Steve Nash. And many speculate Kyrie Irving and Durant had a falling out last year as well. Meanwhile, Ben Simmons is just hated by players and fans alike for being a weenie. With all this team drama, its no wonder the Nets fell to 1-5 this past weekend with their latest lost to the Indiana Pacers. TBD if they can turn the season around but things certainly ain’t looking hot right now.

🏈 Another exciting round of NFL football this weekend… here are the highlights: 1) As if we needed more evidence of his goatedness, Christian McCaffrey completed a rushing, passing, and receiving touchdown in the 49ers defeat of the Rams yesterday, becoming the 11th player in history to do so 2) New York teams are giving Icarus after losing both their respective games this week thanks to 3 interceptions from Jets QB Zach Wilson and 2 fumbles on Giants’ punt returns 3) the Carolina Panthers fumbled the bag after coming back to tie the Atlanta Falcons with a hail mary pass, only to have their kicker miss TWO game-winning field goals… The Falcons kicked a field goal to win it, 37-34.

Halloween Fashion Winners and Losers

“Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.” — Cady Heron

It’s also the one night a year professional athletes can dress up as, well, some very unprofessional things. We summarize our winners and losers of 2023 Halloween Costume Contest Below (because everything’s a competition).

WINNERS:

BEST FAMILY COSTUME: JAKE MCCABE AND FAM AS THE INCREDIBLES

Chicago Blackhawks Defensemen showed up and showed out with his two kiddos. I mean, do you SEE that curl on that baby?!?!

BEST TEAM COSTUME: BOSTON BRUINS AS MARIO KART

The Bruins are crushing the season with an 8-1 record and CRUSHING the costume game as well. Princess peach is sending me. The gloves, ESPECIALLY.

BEST INDIVIDUAL COSTUME: LANE JOHNSON AS TEAMMATE JASON KELCE

Eagles’ offensive tackle Lane Johnson showed up with a wig, an ocean drive t shirt, and starbucks in hand to make fun of teammate, center Jason Kelce. Johnson is on the LEFT for reference with the real Kelce on the right. It’s kinda scary accurate.

LOSERS:

WORST VILLAIN: ADAM THIELEN AS PENNYWISE

The Viking’s wide receiver walked into Sunday’s game as a clown… I know he was trying to be intimidating but like… a clown is a clown. Thank god the Vikings won, ‘cause otherwise, Twitter would have been much harsher.

WORST SUPERHERO: GRANT WILLIAMS AS BATMAN

Celtics’ forward walked into today’s game as a beloved superhero — the idea was there. What he lacked was execution. I’m sorry but things are just way too tight on the crotch area for my comfort.

Time Out for the Tea

Tom Brady & Gisele Bündchen break silence on divorce

• Tom and Gisele both posted on their respective Instagram stories, making it quite official that she and Tom Brady are no longer ): SOBS.

Must Watch This Week

Monday October 31

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. Houston Astros

• 🏈 8:15pm ET, Cleveland Browns vs. Cincinnati Bengals

• 🏀 9:00pm ET, Memphis Grizzlies vs. Utah Jazz

Tuesday November 1st

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. Houston Astros

• 🏒 8:30pm ET, Islanders vs. Blackhawks

• 🏀 10:00pm ET, Minnesota timberwolves vs. Pheonix Suns