Ball Girl #106: What is the Green Bay Packers’ favorite type of candy?

Ahead of the trade deadline, NFL teams were trading players like you traded whoppers for Twix’s on Halloween back in the 5th grade. And the Packers DESPERATELY needed a wide receiver. However, did they trade for one? No, absolutely not. They’ll just leave Aaron Rodgers out to pick up the mess. Safe to say they ended up with the whoppers.

Meanwhile, some teams ended up with king size Hershey bars:

• The 49ers acquired beast Christian McCaffrey, who already set an NFL record in his first game playing for them.

• The Eagles traded for defensive end Robert Quinn, as if they needed more help on defense… now they’re stacked.

• The Minnesota Vikings (6-1) acquired TJ Hockenson, a talented tight end whose gifts were previously being squandered in the winless desert of Detroit.

Can I have your number?

118: Number of World Series (inclusive of the one going on right now). This year features the Philadelphia Phillies and the Houston Astros.

TLDRs

🎓🏈 Last night was HUGE for college football fans, as the playoff committee chose their top 4 teams, AKA, who would “hut hut hike” in the college playoffs if they were to happen today. The 4 lucky ducks? 1. Tennessee 2. Ohio State 3. Georgia and 4. Clemson. Y’all— this list is bananas. Nobody has even talked about Tennessee in the last 3 years of college ball and suddenly they are on top? Meanwhile Alabama is missing from the list entirely. And CLEMSON at #4??? The team who hasn’t played anyone of merit and nearly lost to Syracuse and Wake Forest??? All I can say is stay tuned, my friends, stay tuned.

🏈 Joey B (Bengals QB) had himself a scary Halloween Monday, folks, after getting sacked 5 times by the Browns’ defense. The Browns completely dominated the injury-riddled Bengals to snap a 4 game losing streak. Browns running back Nick Chubb paved the way to the 32-13 victory, along with defensive end Myles Garrett, who didn’t give Joey B a second to breathe all night. We know who’s gonna be in Joe’s nightmares tonight…

⚾ Game 3 of World Series is done and dusted and the Fightin’ Phils are up, 2-1. Again, as a Philly sports fan, I have to say ‘knock on wood’ here… but the Phils are looking like they have the ~magic right now. Nick Castellanos made one of his now-signature diving catches to stop ‘Stros momentum right out the gate in the first inning. In his first World Series at-bat in Philly, Bryce Harper crushed a 2-run homer to put the Phils on the map. Then Alec Bohm, Brandon Marsh, Kyle Schwarber, and Rhys Hoskins also got in on the action and sent homers to the back of Citizens Bank Park. Not to mention Ranger Suarez pitched 5 scoreless innings before handing it over to the Phillies’ bullpen to put the final nails in the coffin. This was an electric game 3; I can only imagine what game 4 is gonna look like tonight.

🏒 The Boston Bruins left for the summer and came back to school with a total glow up. I’m talking at least two cup sizes bigger, AKA, an 8-1 record to start the season. As a reminder, at this point last year they were 5-4. So, what changed? The admin released head coach Bruce Cassidy after six seasons and brought in Jim Montgomery (former Dallas Stars coach who was released for a drug problem😪. He immediately went to rehab and is back in action). Well, Montgomery is CRUSHING it thus far and I am here for this redemption arc.

⛳This weekend will feature the OHL Classic (a bit of an irrelevant one), set to take place at El Camaleón Mayakoba Golf Course in Mexico, with a purse of $8.2mm up for grabs.

NBA

Hump day is feeling a little humpier for the Brooklyn Nets

ICYMI, this year’s Brooklyn Nets have been the biggest flop in recent NBA history. Joe Tsai, the governor of the Nets (the NBA’s pretentious word for owner), spent BILLIONS to acquire the team back in 2019, then poured in even more capital to re-furbish the stadium, acquire hot shots Kyrie Irving and Kevin Durant, and bring on a new head coach, Steve Nash.

Joe Tsai, Brooklyn Nets’ Owner (I mean governor lol), pictured below

Fast forward to summer 2023. The Nets were a wildcard to even make the playoffs, and then got swept by the Boston Celtics in the first round. As New Yorkers, we took that loss personally. Kyrie and Durant ended the season, not on speaking terms, and Durant was demanding that Joe Tsai trade him or fire Steve Nash.

And it looks like Durant’s dreams came true — the Nets formally released Steve Nash yesterday after an abysmal 2-5 start to the season. Nash was a great player himself back in the day, and he’s an even better person… off the court, that is. None of the skills he has as a player or person translated into coaching, leaving the Nets leaderless. Its shown on the court with key players behaving horribly (cough cough, Kyrie- read below) and the Nets lacking any sort of respectable defense.

As Nash's replacement, the Nets are apparently eyeing former assistant coach Ime Udoka. Yup, the same coach who brought the Boston Celtics all the way to the finals last year in his first season, and then was promptly suspended for sexual misconduct (i.e, sleeping with a female staffer).

As if this sh*t show couldn't get spicier, Kyrie Irving tweeted a link to the 2018 documentary "Hebrews to Negroes: Wake Up Black America” earlier this week. For those that don't know this film, it's pretty high-key anti-semitic. Kyrie being Kyrie, though, had to die on this sword and defend his decision to post the film, saying:

Kyrie has once again sparked a pretty heated debate with some citing that he didn't do anything other than post a picture and besides...#freespeech as long as its not blatantly hate speech. Meanwhile, Joe Tsai, the Nets, the NBA administration, and the majority of NBA fans / human counter that he is a man of ~ considerable ~ influence whether he likes it or not. He didn't directly post 'hate speech' but he linked a video that basically contains it.

Point being, we are all talking about the Brooklyn Nets but it has nothing to do with their play on court...

Must Watch This Week

Wednesday November 2nd

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. Houston Astros

• 🏀 7:30pm ET, Boston Celtics vs. Cleveland Cavs

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Philadelphia Flyers vs. Toronto Maple Leafs

Thursday November 3rd

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Philadelphia Phillies vs. Houston Astros

• 🏈 8:15pm ET, Houston Texans vs. Philadelphia Eagles

• 🏀 7:00pm ET, Golden State Warriors vs. Orlando Magic

• 🏒 7:30pm ET, Boston Bruins vs. NY Rangers