Ball Girl #107

In case you didn’t get the memo: Ball Girl is back!

Your sports bestie is back, three times a week in your inbox with all the tea. And soon, even more entertainment on TikTok, Instagram, and Spotify (hard launch incoming shortly). TLDR, we’re becoming the Kardashians of sports news: we’re freakin’ everywhere. Whether you're here for the touchdowns, the drama, or just to have something new to talk about at the water cooler, we got you.

🏈 NFL: Battle for Texas

• Roof Caves In On the Cowboys
  Quite literally, part of the roof at AT&T Stadium caved in before the Cowboys vs: Texans game even started. And that set the tone for the rest of the night. The Cowboys were already going into this game without their franchise QB Dak Prescott (injured), so it couldn’t get much worse, right? Wrong. Dallas’ backup QB Cooper Rush and Texans QB C.J. Stroud swapped interceptions to start the game. Then Markquese Bell went down with a nasty shoulder dislocation, which ended up being just injury 1/5 for the Cowboys. I mean, is mercury in retrograde or something? One lone star shone through all the chaos of the night: Joe Mixon, Texans’ running back, racked up three touchdowns. The cherry on top? Houston beat Dallas for the first time EVER at AT&T Stadium. That’s right, Dallas, you just got served at your own house. The Texans came in, took your lunch money, and left without saying “thank you.”

🏀 NBA: 76ers Need a Hug and the Celtics Showed Cleveland Who’s Boss

• Philadelphia is in Full Meltdown Mode
  The 76ers are 2–11, and it’s looking like the trust process got stuck in traffic. Joel Embiid (center and last season’s MVP) and Paul George (forward) are coming up short. Tyrese Maxey (shooting guard) is out injured but still managed to call out Embiid for showing up late. Rookie Jared McCain (point guard) is balling with 25.2 points per game but the team is still dead last in offense. If you’re looking for Sixers highlights, maybe try 2019.

• Celtics Hand the Cavs Their First "L" in Forever
  Cleveland’s 15-game winning streak got stopped in its tracks, and by "stopped," I mean Jayson Tatum (power forward) personally ended it with 33 points, 12 rebounds, and 7 assists. The Cavaliers put up a fight, with Donovan Mitchell (shooting guard) dropping 35 points, but their defense looked like Swiss Cheese due to an abundance of injuries to their key players. Plus, Boston’s shooters were so hot they practically melted the rims — 51% shooting from the field and 53% from deep. Cleveland was cute while it lasted, but Boston showed everyone who’s daddy in the East.

🏒 NHL: Bruins Fans Boo and Coach Montgomery Packs a Bag

• Columbus Humiliates Boston; Coach Gets the Boot
  The Blue Jackets went full Cinderella story with a 5-1 win against the Bruins, scoring not one but two short-handed goals. Columbus goalie Elvis Merzļikins lived up to his rockstar name, stopping 29 shots, but the Bruins’ defense? Missing in action. Bruins fans booed so loudly they probably scared the ghosts in TD Garden. Less than 24 hours after that disaster, head coach Jim Montgomery got canned. A year ago, this man was breaking records with the Bruins, and now he’s updating his LinkedIn. Joe Sacco will step in as interim coach, inheriting underperformance, bad defense, and even worse vibes.

🎤 Gossip: Legends Retire, Love Wins, and TikTok Stars Rule

• Nadal’s Swan Song Hits Federer in the Feels
  Rafael Nadal’s goodbye tour continues with his final Davis Cup tournament, and Roger Federer is all up in his feelings. Federer wrote a tribute that was part love letter, part comedy roast, praising Nadal’s insane career (22 Grand Slams!) while poking fun at his on-court rituals. He wrapped it up by signing off as “Your fan, Roger.” These two are basically the Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran of tennis — competitive, but you know they text each other memes at 2 a.m.

• Olivia Dunne and Paul Skenes, Awkward but Awesome
  LSU gymnast Olivia Dunne roasted her boyfriend, Pirates ace Paul Skenes. Why? For a reaction as flat as his fastball is deadly when he found out he won Rookie of the Year. Meanwhile, Dunne burst into excitement, and celebrated his big moment in a red dress and with a cookie cake (power moves only). The internet can’t get enough of their opposites-attract vibe (it was giving Justin Bieber in sweats with Hailey’s red dress).

There you have it. Whether you’re crying over being last place in your fantasy league, or just here for the gossip, Ball Girl’s got your back. See you Friday!