Ball Girl #107: Forget Friday Night Lights

This weekend could be the greatest game of the 2022/23 season of college football. Okay, that’s probably an exaggeration, but I cannot stress how utterly important it is. We have #1 ranked Georgia taking on #2 Tennessee. Tenne-who?! That’s right, the Tennessee Volunteers JUMPED into the limelight when the college football playoff committee came out and announced them as the #1 pick overall were the playoffs to be right here, right now. Some say fluke. Others say DESERVED, considering their undefeated 8-0 season and upset win against Alabama. Guess which other team is undefeated? Georgia. So we are going to have a monster match with records, rankings, and PRIDE on the line.

If you don’t know who to root for, just check out Tennessee’s pregame walk out. I have chills. I think my wedding entrance needs to resemble this.

Can I have your number?

+1200/+1400: Betting odds that Pete Davidson/Taylor Swift will be Gisele Bünchen’s/Tom Brady’s next boyfriend/girlfriend, respectively. Few things would be more shocking than Pete Davidson/Gisele Bünchen and Tom Brady/Taylor Swift combos.

TLDRs

🏀 Well that was one expensive tweet… ICYMI, last week Kyrie Irving tweeted out a link to a VERY anti-Semitic movie. There’s a lot of debate here as to whether this was a man exercising his right to free speech OR promoting hate speech. Let’s be clear — the movie claims that that 6 Million Jews DID NOT ACTUALLY DIE in the Holocaust, that the Jews are Satan Worshippers, and that they are ‘fake’ Hebrews (literally what?). This is 1) obviously not valid and 2) not something you want an NBA player with 4.6M followers promoting on his platform. After getting a 💩 storm of backlash, the Brooklyn Nets and Kyrie have EACH donated $500,000 to anti-hate groups. Meanwhile, Kyrie has been suspended for 5 games by the Brooklyn Nets — mostly because it took him SO LONG to apologize and say that he WASN’T anti-Semitic… Hella talented? Yes. Causing chaos with real world consequences through social media? Also yes.

🏈 Guys. The Eagles are now 8-0. Are we in the upside down? This is a whole new world for birds’ fans. In last night’s Thursday Night Football matchup, the Philadelphia Eagles beat the Tennessee Titans, 29-17. The Eagles started out looking like their old selves, giving up a fumble on one of the first plays of the game. Things were all tied up at the half but then CJ Gardner-Johnson came up with an interception in the third quarter to swing momentum back to the Eagles. From there, Jalen Hurts and his fave receiver, AJ Brown, sealed the deal.

⚾ On the other side of Philly, the Philadelphia Phillies had worse luck… They dropped game 5 of the World Series to the Astros, 3-2. The Astros came in as hot as ya girl at the bars after my last breakup — they got a hit and a run in just the first four pitches of the game. Kyle Schwarber went deep to respond and get the Phils on the board, but Jeremy Peña came up clutch again for the ‘Stros to get them the lead again. The Phils couldn’t manage to mount a comeback. Game 6 is tomorrow and the Astros have a shot at taking the cake. Current tally — Phils 2, Astros 3.

🏒 The Toronto Maple Leafs are looking like the Brooklyn Nets of the NHL. If you don’t get this joke, you are clearly not a Nets’ fan and I envy you. Well, Toronto has arguably the most talented forward in all of the league in the form of Auston Matthews (he won the Hart trophy last year which is basically the MVP of the entire NHL). But they have struggled against much lesser teams in recent weeks. Why? Their defense is non-existent, they’re giving out turnovers like Oprah, and worst of all, they don’t look like they are trying. I swear, my mom PROMISED me that when boys turn 25 they mature and start giving a sh*t and put in effort. Well, Mom was wrong. The dating pool still consists of mentally teenagers, as does the Toronto Maple Leafs.

⛳After R1 at the OHL Classic, Will Gordon sits at the top of the leaderboard at 9-under for the day, closely trailed by Russell Henley, who finished 8-under for the day.

Time Out For the Tea

Who will be Gisele Bünchen’s (recently divorced from Tom Brady) next boyfriend?

• Pete Davidson tops the list followed by some other notables including Leonardo DiCaprio, Bradley Cooper, and Zac Efron. Who’s to say?

Who will be Tom Brady’s (recently divorced by aforementioned Gisele Bünchen^) next girlfriend?

• Taylor Swift tops the list for Brady, followed by a number of notable celebs, including Kim Kardashian (who, ironically, recently broke up with Pete Davidson on Gisele’s list^), Jennifer Aniston, and Bella Hadid.

Cherelle Griner speaks out about difficulty without wife, Brittney

• No good news here… Joe Biden has stated that they are not receiving any positive response from Russia. This follows Griner serving time in a Russian prison since February 2021, and most recently, Russian court’s denial of Griner’s appeal. Griner’s wife, Cherelle, subsequently revealed how difficult it has been for her to adjust to life without Brittney.

Must Watch This Week

Friday November 4th:

• 🏀 7:00pm ET, NY Knicks vs. Philadelphia 76ers

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Buffalo Sabres vs. Carolina Hurricanes

Saturday November 5th:

• 🎓🏈 3:30pm ET, Tennessee vs. Georgia

• 🎓🏈 7:00pm ET, Alabama vs. LSU

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Toronto Maple Leads vs. Boston Bruins

• 🏀 7:30pm ET, NY Knicks vs. Boston Celtics

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Houston Astros vs. Philadelphia Phillies

Sunday November 6th:

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, NY Jets vs. Buffalo Bills

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Carolina Panthers vs. Cincinnati Bengals

• 🏈 1:00 pm ET, Washington Commanders vs. Minnesota Vikings

• 🏈 4:25pm ET, Tampa Bay Buccaneers vs. LA Rams

• 🏒 6:00pm ET, Toronto Maple Leads vs. Carolina Hurricanes

• 🏀 7:00pm ET, Chicago Bulls vs. Toronto Raptors

• ⚾ 8:00pm ET, Houston Astros vs. Philadelphia Phillies