Ball Girl #109: The Utah Jazz are TROUBLE

The Utah Jazz are a surprising force this year, even after trading former star Donovan Mitchell to the Cleveland Cavaliers. Who did they acquire in said trade? 7-footer from Finland named Lauri Markkanen. Right now, he is AVERAGING 22 points per game, placing him as the top #29th shooter in the league. To put this in perspective, that’s more than NBA-certified stars such as Nikola Jokic (Denver), Jimmy Butler (Miami), and Jrue Holiday (Milwaukee). But to humble you further, he’s also only 25 years old- MARRIED WITH TWO BABIES- and looks like the adult man version of a cartoon Cupid.

Can I have your number?

 50 / 50 / 50: In honor of the New York City marathon this past weekend, Dean Karnazes (American ultramarathoner and now author) is most well known for running 50 marathons in 50 days in 50 U.S States. Most of us can’t even imagine driving across the U.S., let alone RUNNING around it.

TLDRs

⛳Up next for the PGA Tour is the Houston Open, set to take place at Memorial Park Golf Course and Driving Range in (you guessed it) Houston, TX. The Open kicks off tomorrow with a $8.4mm purse up for grabs.

🎓🏈 After an INSANE weekend of ‘ball, the College Football Playoff committee came back with their revised rankings (reminder: this is who college football nation thinks should play in the playoffs were they right here, right now): #1 Georgia, #2 Ohio State, #3 Michigan, #4 TCU. As you can see VERY different from last week- like only 50% of teams are the same. Why the drastic change? Well, formerly ranked #1, Tennessee got smoked like a honey-baked ham on Christmas morning by Georgia. Alabama lost to LSU. Clemson lost to Notre Dame. Talk about a shake-up.

🏈 The Ravens cruised past the Saints on Monday night to get their third straight win and gain control of the AFC North. Lamar Jackson had his 100th career touchdown and Kenyan Drake scored 2 rushing TDs.

🏒 Edmonton Oilers’ fans were treated to a slasher movie Tuesday night in the game against the Tampa Bay Lightning. Forward Evander Kane had his wrist cut by a skate in the second period and immediately began BLEEDING on the ice because, yes- that’s what happens when you cut a major artery. He was rushed to a nearby hospital and is in stable condition but blood-queasy viewers just had to sign up for an additional weekly session of therapy.

🎓🏀 College basketball officially kicked off on Monday night with a couple of BIG games to start things off. First, UNC defeated UNC Wilmington, but the game was waay too close for comfort… UNC only pulled ahead towards the end, final score 69-56. Powerhouse Gonzaga obliterated North Florida after going on a 26-point unanswered scoring streak. Duke’s new coach, Jon Scheyer, won his debut game against Jacksonville… Duke fans will be on the edge of their seats all season to see if Scheyer can live up to beloved (retired) Coach K. As for you and me, there are only 126 days until March Madness 2023…

🏀 All things must come to an end; including my toxic situationships and the Milwaukee Bucks 9 game win streak. The Atlanta Hawks handed the Bucks their first loss of the Season Monday night, even while missing star Trae Young. Don’t get me wrong- the Hawks played AMAZING especially their bench players like A.J Griffin who had a career high 24 points. But honestly? The Bucks just kinda shot themselves in the foot with 19 turnovers.

Time Out for the Tea

Aaaaand the truth comes out (about Tom and Gisele)

• Now that Gisele and Tom are officially divorced, of course, the real tea has started to pour out. Apparently, Tom and Gisele have been rocky for much longer than the two let on throughout this entire process… in fact, word on the street is that Gisele has been living on her own for quite a while now (as in, even before news of their marital issues broke). A source told People, "Gisele is dealing with issues that have been plaguing her for a long time” and that the split from Tom "was hard at first, but enough time has passed that she is settling in."

Scary situation for Brittney Griner progresses

• Word broke that Brittney Griner will face “isolation, grueling labor and psychological torment when she is transferred to a penal colony, the successor to the infamous Russian gulag, to fulfill a nine-year sentence.”

Must Watch This Week

Wednesday

• 🏀 7:30pm ET, Brooklyn Nets vs. NY Knicks

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Carolina Hurricanes vs. Florida Panthers

• 🏒 7:30pm ET, Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Washington Capitals

Thursday

• 🏈 8:15pm ET, Carolina Panthers vs. Atlanta Falcons

• 🏀 7:30pm ET, Philadelphia 76ers vs. Atlanta Hawks

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Edmonton Oilers vs. Carolina Hurricanes