Ball Girl #110: 44 Points, 6 Arrests, and 1 Whiskey Breakup

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 🏀 NBA: LaMelo is Him, but the Hornets Aren’t

• LaMelo Ball (PG, Hornets) dropped 44 points, 9 rebounds, and 7 assists, making history with the most points in a three-game stretch for the Hornets. Oh, and he did it while casually pulling off a viral, one-legged step-back three-pointer that screamed main-character energy. Too bad the rest of his team didn’t get the memo. The Orlando Magic (10-6) shut down the Hornets (6-11) with a 95-84 win. Franz Wagner (SF) scored 21 points and Orlando’s bench squad said “Hold my Gatorade” and outscored Charlotte’s bench 53-15. The Hornets, riddled with injuries and 27 turnovers, looked more like LaMelo’s supporting cast in a bad sitcom. Someone get this man a trade, or at least a hug.

 🏈 NFL: Brotherly Love in the City of Angels

• The third-ever "Harbowl" went down Monday night: the Ravens vs. the Chargers, coached by brothers John and Jim Harbaugh. Basically Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but in cleats and with way more muscle. The Chargers took a 10-7 lead early, and for a hot second, it seemed like Jim might actually beat his brother for the first time. But then John made a gutsy call to go for it on 4th and 1 from his own 16-yard line, and it paid off. The Ravens turned that conversion into a touchdown, with QB Lamar Jackson doing MVP things and throwing a 40-yard bomb. Jim’s definitely gonna be hearing about that play over his turkey dinner… From there, the Chargers’ defense went from ‘ironclad’ to ‘wet paper towel’. To be fair, when RB Derrick Henry is charging at you, there’s not much you can do. The Chargers did make a late push with a touchdown, but the game ended with the Ravens on top, 30-23. And you thought your Thanksgiving was going to be full of drama…

🏒 NHL: Lights Out in Tampa, Hellebuyck Turns the Jets Around

• Tampa Bay Lightning Turn the Avalanche Into Slush
  The Lightning (12-8-1) turned their game against the Avalanche (11-7-2) into a full-on highlight reel. Brandon Hagel (LW) set franchise records with 5 assists, proving he’s that guy, while Jake Guentzel (LW) added two goals like it was light work. Andrei Vasilevskiy (G) had 23 saves, which was honestly overkill considering Tampa’s offense basically said, “Don’t worry, we got this.” Final score? 8-2. The Avalanche looked like they forgot how to hockey. Tampa fans are screaming, "We’re back, baby!" Meanwhile, Colorado fans are just screaming.

• Jets Soar, Wild Crash in Winnipeg
  Connor Hellebuyck (G) had 43 saves, single-handedly shutting down the Minnesota Wild (8-13-3) in a 4-1 Jets (15-6-1) victory. Alex Iafallo (LW) decided to celebrate his 100th career goal with another goal just because he could. And Nino Niederreiter (RW), playing his old team, said, “Miss me yet?” with a sassy score. Minnesota’s star, Kirill Kaprizov, came back from injury only to lose his 11-game point streak, proving that even heroes need backup. Winnipeg looks like a team ready to do some damage, while the Wild… well, they’re just wildly inconsistent.

🥊 UFC: "Paging Doctor KO"

• Shi Ming is officially the coolest person you didn’t know existed. By day, she’s a 30-year-old doctor saving lives in Macau. By night, she’s Doctor Sleep, serving up knockouts that make opponents wish they’d stayed home. In the final of the UFC’s “Road to UFC” strawweight tournament, Ming delivered a chef’s kiss head-kick KO against Xiaocun Feng, earning her a UFC contract and a $50,000 bonus. Her parents think she’s doing tai chi, and honestly, let’s not tell them — they wouldn’t get it.

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🛑 Gossip: When the Tea is Hotter Than the Game

• Conor McGregor Loses Whiskey Cred (and Credibility)
  Imagine co-founding a $600 million whiskey brand and then losing it all because you can’t stay out of court. That’s Conor McGregor’s life right now. After being found liable for a 2018 sexual assault, McGregor’s Proper No. 12 Irish Whiskey dumped him like a bad habit. His statement was equal parts apology and denial, but brands and fans are not buying it. This is the kind of fall from grace even reality TV wouldn’t script.

• Paul Bissonnette Takes Bar Fights to the Next Level
  Retired NHL enforcer Paul Bissonnette proved he’s still got hands, stepping in to defend restaurant staff from six entitled jerks in Scottsdale. The fight spilled outside, Biz ended up in the hospital (he’s fine), and the jerks ended up in jail. Just another day in the life of everyone’s favorite podcast host-turned-knight-in-shining-armor. Someone get him a cape.

That’s a wrap for today! Enjoy Turkey Day and remember — trash talk is free, but victory is priceless. See you next time, queens!