Ball Girl #110: I love big men with small dogs

There is something about oxymorons that just do it for me. Imagine, a small blonde girl driving a giant truck. Your conservative father, who secretly loves magicians. And my personal favorite — NBA players with teeny, tiny, SMOL dogs. Well ladies and gents, we were treated to such a delight when Jordan Poole (Golden State Warriors) arrived for his game against the Sacremento Kings with none other than a teeny pupster/pupperoni/goodest-boy-EVER. Like me, the press and the fans couldn’t get enough of it.

Can I have your number?

36: Number of footballs the home team must provide for outdoor games in the NFL. For indoor games, they only need to provide 24. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell must hand select all of the footballs used (control freak…) and they have to be Wilson brand. And the referee must check each football to ensure it weighs the correct weight and that it’s properly inflated… 👀

TLDRs

🎓🏈 We have another crazy weekend of college football ahead of us, with only single digit weeks left until the playoffs (GASP). So let’s take a look at the games you need to watch this weekend: 1) #9 Alabama vs #11 Ole Miss. ‘Bama is the favorite but if they lose to #11 Ole Miss this weekend, which they very well could, that would be the first time since 2010 they have lost 3 games in a season. R.I.P Crimson Tide. 2) #4 TCU vs. #18 Texas. In the last 8 years, Texas has lost 6 times to TCU. Woof. But the fancy-fancy AI algorithms are putting Texas at a 73% chance to win, given that Texas is great at running the ball, and stopping running plays has been one of TCU’s weaknesses. But then again TCU is undefeated, so they deserve some credit, no!?

🏈 Breaking news: the NFC South is the new NFC East. Okay, context: The NFC East used to be one of the worst divisions in the NFL… The Cowboys, the Giants, the Eagles, and the Commanders? The division winner would usually end up having a losing record and slim to none chances at actually proceeding in playoffs. The NFC South, on the other hand, has the Buccaneers, the Saints, the Falcons, and the Panthers, and historically has been a pretty competitive league. But not this year… last night’s game between the Falcons and Panthers left much to be desired, and now its looking like the Bucs have a pretty clear path to winning the division, even with a losing record. Meanwhile, the Eagles are 8-0 and the Cowboys and the Giants are 6-2 (and who cares about the Commanders). As an Eagles fan, I’m not complaining…

⚾ You know how when dating shows end, and it seems like the chosen couple is so happy together, and then a month later, they break up? The same goes for post-baseball season. The World Series has only just ended, and we’re already hearing about some star players looking to break up with their teams. Most notably, Justin Verlander, star Astros pitcher, opted out of his contract with the Astros to explore free agency. And Jacob deGrom, ridiculously talented pitcher for the Mets, has reportedly let some other teams know that he is interested in signing with them. No one is safe!!

🏒 ICYMI, the Toronto Maple Leafs have been getting major 💩 this season. They are 7-4, which all things considered, is a pretty great record… but fans are frustrated because they have potential to be even better, particularly with scoring icon Austen Matthews. Now, Austen Matthews is getting some serious SASS from a former NHL enforcer Mike Rupp — in the Maple Leafs’ game against the Philadelphia Flyers, he clearly antagonizes another player (”clearly” within hockey rules). The two exchange some shoving, then Matthews says a few words, and then, HE SMIRKS and steps out of the way to let his teammates get into a fight — his fight!!! Rupp’s point was, look, as the best player, yea, you can’t afford to get hurt. But that doesn’t mean you should go stir up trouble like goddamn gossip girl and then let your teammates take the blowback.

🎓🏀 Two games to report — first, Bellarmine shocked the world and defeated legacy program Louisville, 67-66. It’s only Bellarmine’s third season in Division I… meanwhile, Louisville has historically been a top performer. This is a brutal start to the season for new coach, Kenny Payne. On the other hand, defending champions Kansas defeated North Dakota state, 82-59, to start the season off right.

🏀 I know, I know; you are tired of hearing about the Brooklyn Nets; I mean this team has more drama than the popular girl group in high school. But— might they be on the up and up? The Nets decided to forego the suspended Celtics’ coach Ime Udoka as Steve Nash’s replacement (for so many reasons, thank god) and instead go with assistant coach Jacque Vaughn. Well in his debut game against the NY Knicks last night, Kevin Durant played LIGHTS OUT and the team spanked the Knicks by more than 30 points (consider that like a 6 goal lead in soccer my non basketball readers). Might Brooklyn be returning to glory like a freaking phoenix?! Or am I just setting myself up for disappoint. Only time will tell.

Must Watch This Week:

Friday, November 11

• 🎓🏀 6:30pm ET, Gonzaga vs. Michigan State

• 🏀 7:00pm ET, Denver Nuggets vs. Boston Celtics

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

Saturday, November 12

• 🎓🏈 3:30pm ET, Alabama vs. Mississippi

• 🎓🏈 7:30pm ET, Texas vs. TCU

• 🏀 4:00pm ET, Brooklyn Nets vs. L.A Clippers

• 🏒 9:00pm ET, Carolina Hurricane vs. Colorado Avalanche

Sunday, November 13

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Buffalo Bills vs. Minnesota Vikings

• 🏈 1:00pm ET, Kansas City Chiefs vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

• 🏈 8:20pm ET, SF 49ers vs. LA Chargers

• 🏀 6:00pm ET, Memphis Grizzlies vs. Washington Wizards

• 🏒 7:00pm ET, Arizona Coyotes vs. NY Rangers