Ball Girl #111: Why a Carrot Stole Thanksgiving

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🏈 NFL: Thanksgiving Recap

• Unlike Myself, Lions Narrowly Avoid Thanksgiving Day Drama: The Bears were down 16-0, but then pulled a Cinderella Story and came roaring back to make it 23-20 in the final minute. Of course, they had a shot to tie or win, but the Bears played like they were your uncle last night drunk off one too many Thanksgiving beers. They didn’t use their final timeout, snapped the ball with 6 seconds left, and QB Jameis Williams threw a pass so ugly, it was worse than me in fifth grade with braces and headgear. Lions escape with the W, but both teams are still looking for their dignity.

This Weekend’s Cant-Miss Games: What to Watch As You Stuff Your Face with Leftovers

Friday November 29th

• 🏒 Winnipeg Jets vs. Vegas Golden Knights 8:30 p.m. ET, ESPN+: This isn’t just a hockey game—it’s a clash of personalities. The Winnipeg Jets (18-6-2) are the overachieving honor student who’s been crushing it, led by Kyle Connor (forward, sharpshooter, equivalent of prom king) and Mark Scheifele (also forward, equivalent of the guy your parents secretly wish you’d date). They’re scoring more points than a bougie girl with a Starbucks app during PSL season (okay fine, me)— with four goals a game. Vegas Golden Knights (16-7-1), though? They’re the charismatic bad boys on a heater, riding a three-game win streak. But let’s not sugarcoat it—their defense has been flakier than your situationship. Watch Jack Eichel and Jonathan Marchessault try to out-charm Winnipeg while their defense prays for a miracle.

• 🏀 Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Los Angeles Lakers 10 p.m. ET, ESPN: LeBron James keeps proving that he ages like a fine wine. At 39, he’s still flexing triple-doubles while most of us are figuring out how to budget for brunch. The Lakers (11-7) also have Anthony Davis (center/power forward) dunking with the grace of a ballerina on steroids. But here come the Thunder (14-4)—a TikTok-era team that plays like they’ve got Spotify playlists named “Prove the Haters Wrong.” Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (shooting guard) is putting up 33.7 points per game while their defense makes up for missing Chet Holmgren (center, injured, human version of a skyscraper). This matchup is the NBA version of “old school vs. new school,” with LeBron trying to fend off the league’s Gen-Z takeover.

Saturday November 30th

• 🏈 Texas Longhorns vs. Texas A&M Aggies 7:30 p.m. ET, ABC: It’s a Lone Star State reunion, y’all! The No. 3 Longhorns (10-1) ride into College Station with a loaded offense led by QB Quinn Ewers and tight end Gunnar Helm (catching TDs like he’s snagging Black Friday deals). Meanwhile, Texas A&M (8-3) is licking its wounds after a quadruple-OT meltdown but still packs a punch with QB Marcel Reed and RB Amari Daniels. With playoff spots and bragging rights on the line, this rivalry reboot will be as messy and dramatic as watching your woke college sister sitting next to your conservative uncle at dinner last night.

Sunday December 1st:

• 🏈 Arizona Cardinals vs. Minnesota Vikings (Sunday, 1 p.m. ET, Fox): The Arizona Cardinals, now 6-5, are fighting to stay in the NFC West race after a disappointing 16-6 loss to the Seattle Seahawks. They travel to face the 9-2 Minnesota Vikings, who are chasing the NFC North-leading Detroit Lions. The Vikings’ offense, led by quarterback Kirk Cousins and star wide receiver Justin Jefferson, is firing on all cylinders. Their defense, ranked in the top 10 for takeaways, faces an Arizona team leaning on quarterback Kyler Murray to reignite their season. This game has significant playoff ramifications for both teams as they navigate tight divisional races.

• 🏈 Baltimore Ravens vs. Philadelphia Eagles (Sunday, 4:25 p.m. ET, CBS): Get ready for a showdown of birds on Sunday – the 9-2 Eagles vs. the 8-4 Ravens. These teams are flexing harder than me at the gym, and both are top contenders to win the NFC and AFC, respectively. We’ve got a running back showdown – Derrick Henry vs. Saquon Barkley – basically a battle of NFL players who could probably squat the weight of my Prius. But let’s be real, this game comes down to one thing: Eagles defense vs. Ravens offense. Who’s got the bigger claws? Tune in Sunday to see which bird flies higher.

• 🏀 Boston Celtics vs. Cleveland Cavaliers 6 p.m. ET, NBA TV: The Celtics (15-3) are basketball’s polished IT couple. ForwardJayson Tatum and shooting guard Jaylen Brown are an elite one-two punch. The Cavaliers (17-1), though, are feeling petty. After Boston snapped their 15-game win streak, Evan Mobley (power forward) and Donovan Mitchell are out for revenge. Why care? It’s like watching two exes meet at the same party for the first time since their breakup. Awkward? Yes. Entertaining? Absolutely.

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🍿 Gossip Corner

• Tom Brady’s Turkey Day Turducken Drama: So, Tom Brady finally made his NFL commentary debut on Thanksgiving—and boy, did he give fans something to chew on (or not). Instead of tackling turducken—the triple-decker Frankenbird combo of chicken-stuffed duck-stuffed turkey that’s a football broadcast tradition—Brady gave it a hard pass. Yep, the guy famous for his avocado ice cream and monk-like diet wasn’t biting. For those of you wondering “What the heck is tuducken?”, its a holiday MVP of the NFL, made legendary by the late John Madden during his iconic Thanksgiving broadcasts. Brady’s snub sparked a hilarious fan debate: Is it dedication to the TB12 method or disrespecting the sacred bird-bowl bond? Either way, his dry humor and sharp takes scored points in his first gig behind the mic—even if his plate stayed veggie-friendly.

• David Montgomery’s Veggie Tunnel-Vision: Detroit Lions running back David Montgomery stole the show during their dramatic Thanksgiving win over the Chicago Bears—by chowing down on…a single carrot while his teammates munched into entire turducken legs; Montgomery had fans cracking up with his lone bunny snack during a game that saw the Lions come back from the brink to stay top of the NFC North. Memes popped off faster than the button on your pants following that pumpkin pie, with Montgomery and his carrot becoming the symbol of elite self-control (or maybe just a craving for something crunchy?). Either way, Montgomery’s mix of humor and hustle matches the Lions’ vibe this season—quirky, focused, and unexpectedly dominating with a 9-2 record.

Holiday feasts + football? Always a recipe for iconic moments. We’ll be back Monday to recap it all, and until then, Happy Holidays!

XOXO Ball Girl