Ball Girl #112: Weekend Sports Recap

In case you didn’t get the memo: Ball Girl is back!

Your sports bestie is back, three times a week in your inbox with all the tea. And soon, even more entertainment on TikTok, Instagram, and Spotify (hard launch incoming shortly). TLDR, we’re becoming the Kardashians of sports news: we’re freakin’ everywhere. Whether you're here for the touchdowns, the drama, or just to have something new to talk about at the water cooler, we got you.

🎓🏈 College Football Rivalry Weekend Recap: When Respect Got Benched

If you think your last break up was messy, welcome to rivalry week in college football—a weekend so petty it could guest star on Selling Sunset. Buckle up and let’s drive.

🐾 Georgia vs. Georgia Tech: Eight Overtimes & A Freshman Hero

Think of Georgia Tech as the scrappy underdog trying to take down Georgia, a team so dominant they could be Regina George in Mean Girls. Georgia, ranked No. 6 heading into the weekend, looked like they’d spent all of halftime doomscrolling TikTok, trailing by 17 points.

But here’s the twist: Georgia clawed their way back, tying the game with just over a minute left in regulation. QB Carson Beck threw five touchdowns, like Oprah handing out cars—“You get a TD! You get a TD!” The game dragged into eight—yes, eight—overtimes (FYI? College football record is 9.)

The big boss of the game was none other than a freshman, Nate Frazier, who basically told Georgia Tech, “Not today,” with a three-yard, game-winning two-point run. The Bulldogs won 44-42 and locked in their status as a College Football Playoff favorite. Georgia Tech’s QB Haynes King gave his all, with over 400 yards and five TDs, but a late fumble. Tragic.

〽️ Michigan vs. Ohio State: Petty Is a Love Language

If you thought your sibling rivalry was intense, let me introduce you to Michigan and Ohio State. These two teams hate each other with the passion of divorced parents fighting over who gets the kids for Christmas.

This year, Michigan—currently unranked—handed the #2 Ohio State their fourth straight loss in the series with a nail-biting 13-10 win. Blake Corum, Michigan’s star running back, scored the only touchdown, proving that sometimes slow and steady wins the race. Meanwhile, Michigan’s QB, J.J. McCarthy, played it safe, letting his defense do the heavy lifting.

But the real action came after the game. Michigan planted their flag on Ohio State’s field, and let’s just say the Buckeyes weren’t feeling the love. Players, coaches, and even police got involved in the chaos. Imagine the “Women Tell All” episode of the Bachelor with more testosterone and actual pepper spray.

🤘 Texas vs. Texas A&M: No Drama, Just Dominance

The historic Texas-Texas A&M rivalry was rekindled after a decade, and Texas was not playing around. The Longhorns, ranked No. 3, came in hot. QB Quinn Ewers balanced his passing game beautifully with Jonathan Brooks’ ground attack, while Arch Manning (yes, of that Manning family) even scored a rushing touchdown. A&M? Couldn’t keep up. They managed one lonely touchdown and were shut out the rest of the game.

Coach Steve Sarkisian kept his team cool, preventing any postgame antics. This isn’t just sports—it’s an audition for the College Football Playoff. With a matchup against Georgia next, Texas is saying, “We’re not here to make friends. We’re here to win.”

🏈 NFL: Sam Darnold Magic & Eagles Dominate

• Darnold Casting Spells: The Vikings (10-2) barely beat the Cardinals yesterday (6-6) thanks to QB Sam Darnold. He led a major push late in the game to propel the Vikings to victory by just one point. The Vikings are now 10-2, and I’m honestly still trying to figure out how. Justin Jefferson (WR) is the team’s only chance at a Super Bowl commercial. But they’re 7-1 in one-score games this season, which either means they’ve got some serious clutch magic, or they’ve got a wizard in the locker room casting spells. Thanks to yesterday’s win, they’re still jockeying with the Lions for the NFC North. Just don’t ask how they’re doing it; it may involve some questionable team rituals.

• Eagles Soar, Ravens Crash: Both birds showed up yesterday, but the Eagles had the better wings. The Eagles (10-2) vs. Ravens (8-5) game was neck and neck until the third quarter, when the Ravens shot themselves in the foot with a missed extra point and two missed field goals. Oops. Then the Eagles went full throttle. RB Saquon Barkley (yes, that Saquon) ran for 107 yards, while Ravens RB Derrick Henry ran for just 82. And don’t even get me started on Jalen Hurts — slinging the rock like he was that one guy buying shots for the whole squad over the weekend. But the real MVPs were the Eagles' defense. Rookie Cooper DeJean had a particularly great night; in the fourth quarter, he obliterated Derrick Henry like he was just another rookie in the NFL, and set the tone for the rest of the game.

🗞️ Gossip Corner: Holiday Spirit

• Love, Engagements & Deleted Instagram Comments: Buffalo Bills QB Josh Allen is now off the market, ladies. He popped the question to Hailee Steinfeld, who you might know as the effortlessly cool girl next door—unless you’re Allen’s ex, Brittany Williams. ICYMI, Williams is not here for the quick engagement vibes after her 10-year relationship with Allen. She allegedly called him a “brain-dead CTE athlete” in a deleted Insta comment. Savage? Sure. Hacked account? Uh-huh. Sounds like a deleted TikTok drafts moment to us. Either way, Josh and Hailee’s sunset proposal was dreamy, but the timing? Let’s just say this whirlwind romance is moving faster than Taylor Swift’s re-recordings. Congrats to the new couple, but here’s hoping their playoff record goes better than Allen’s PR game.

• A Philly Special Christmas: Back in 2021, the Philadelphia Eagles’ Offensive line, led by Jason Kelce, Jordan Mailata, and Lane Johnson, were inspired to record and release an album of Christmas songs to benefit their Philadelphia community. It turned into a tradition, and every year, they recruit stars from the NFL and beyond to help them create an album of Christmas cheer, Philly style. This year’s album features the Kelce family, Stevie Nicks, and Mt. Joy, and aims to support the Fund for the School District of Philadelphia, with the goal of raising enough money to make sure every kid receives a gift on Christmas.

Another weekend of chaos and upsets, now with a dash of holiday madness. Hope your month’s off to a better start than the refs’ calls, and we’ll catch you Wednesday!