Ball Girl #114: It's a tough day to be Zach Wilson

NY Jets' Head Coach, Robert Saleh, benched QB Zach Wilson (who has been playing like 💩 and taking zero responsibility for it) this past Sunday against the Chicago Bears. Who took his spot? None other than back-up Mike White (the Breaking Bad fan in me is going crazy- it's like my two favorite characters reproduced). Well, Mikey delivered with a crushing 31-10 win and 3 TDs. Jets' fans and haters alike are here for it, creating some dang good memes about how Mike White is taking Wilson's spot and his girls, or well, mom's (Reminder: Zach Wilson's only accomplishment of the 2022/2023 season was bangin' his mom's best friend).

Can I have your number?

5: Record number of World Cup tournaments in which a player has provided at least one assist, which goes to no other than Lionel Messi, who just broke his own record in Argentina’s 2-0 victory over Mexico this past Saturday. Messi previously held the record after setting up one goal in 2006, 2010, and 2014, two goals in 2018, and another this year in 2022.

TLDRs

⛳Australian homeboy Cameron Smith won his third straight Australian PGA Championship this past weekend at Royal Queensland, taking home $2mm in prize money. Even with 2 weather delays, Smith finished 14-under for the tournament, ahead of Jason Scrivener and Ryo Hisatsune who tied for 2nd, both 11-under for the weekend. Next up for the PGA is the Hero World Challenge, kicking off Thursday at Albany Golf Club in the Bahamas.

🎓🏈 Holy. Moly. Upset Guacamole that I would definitely pay $2.00 extra for. We had an amazing weekend with formerly #2 Ohio State losing to midwest rival Michigan 45-23 — a low-key blowout to boot!!! Meanwhile, the South Carolina Gamecocks beat in-state frenemy Clemson Tigers, 31-30. Clemson’s chances of heading to the CFB playoffs are certifiably cancelled while Steven Ratler (Gamecocks’ QB) smokes a cigar in celebration of raining on his enemies parade (but also settle down… your team’s 8-4).

🏈 We’re narrowing in on the playoffs and teams are starting to pull out the magic. The Eagles continue to dominate in the NFC after a sound defeat of Aaron Rodgers and the Packers last night. Over in the AFC, Kansas City remains at the top with a win this weekend against the LA Rams. Fun detail from this weekend’s games: the NY Jets had yet another QB step up and save the day, one Mike Smith. Cut to ex-Jets starting QB Zach Wilson shaking in his boots…

⚽ The World Cup is in full swing! Teams are still playing in group stages, fighting for spots in the knockout stage. Our USA team tied their first two games against Wales and England — the second game being one of the most highly anticipated games of the tournament. But enough of the boring stuff. The tea is that everyone’s crushing on USA midfielder Christian Pulisic, phenom player from Hershey, PA (yes, the chocolate company). His nickname is Captain America — ya, he’s that good. USA plays Iran today in a must-win game in order for them to keep going in the tournament!

🏒 Now personally, I can only associate krakens (imagine big, unfried calamari) with the meme “RELEASE THE KRAKEN!” but yea it is also the mascot of the second best team in the western conference right now. The Seattle Kraken stand at 13-5, having taken down some mega teams like the Colorado Avalanche, Calgary Flames, and Vegas Golden Nights — not to mention they finished with the 3rd worst record in the NHL last season. So, what changed? Well, basically their entire roster. Seattle offloaded a bunch of players right before the deadline and acquired some fresh meat, which seems to be playing Grade A. But the season has just begun… can they hold onto the positive momentum?

🎓🏀 #24 Purdue beat #8 Duke in the championship game of the Phil Knight tournament to take the crown. Phil Knight ringing any bells? He is indeed the Nike founder. I guess when you’re that important, then you can name tournaments after yourself. In the third place game of that same tournament, #18 Alabama took #1 North Carolina to quadruple overtime . Something about udnerdogs.

🏀 We are a quarter way through the season so let’s take a little pulse check on this body! Unsurprisingly, the Boston Celtics and Milwaukee Bucks stand atop the league — just a total green and white domination. I guess just in time for Christmas? Meanwhile, Luka Doncic and his Dallas Mavericks have been struggling in recent weeks riding their 4th straight loss. Luka may have shed his baby fat over the summer and shoots more shots than a Murray Hill finance boy whose just discovered hinge… but the man’s only human (barely) — he needs some help on defense!

Time out for the Tea

Part of Nadal’s life left with Federer when he retired🥺

• Nadal making us teary-eyed! Before an exhibition match in Australia, Nadal told reporters, "You know you're not going to live that again and a part of my life left with him (when he retired). It was also the emotion of saying goodbye to someone who has been so important to our sport.” Talk about a bromance between two who played each other 40 times during their careers.