Ball Girl #123: Your Weekend Sports Forecast

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It’s freezing. Your social battery is on 1%. And let’s be real—you're not actually going outside, so let’s not pretend. Instead of hitting your situationship with another “wyd?” text, let me upgrade you with the only weekend plans you need: wall-to-wall sports drama.

So grab a blanket, cancel plans you never wanted to go to, and let’s get into it. 🏆🔥 

7:30pm ET Friday, 🏈 College Football , Texas vs. Ohio State – A Playoff Slugfest Spicer Than Your Jalapeño Skinny Girl Marg

No. 5 Texas and No. 8 Ohio State are stepping into the Cotton Bowl today at 7:30pm ET, and if this matchup were a relationship status, it’d be “It’s Complicated”—because both teams have had a rollercoaster of a season. Texas pulled an Uno-reverso on their SEC doubters, shaking off a Georgia loss before bodying Clemson and Arizona State in the playoffs. Meanwhile, Ohio State took an L to Michigan (again—yikes) but then rebounded like your toxic ex, obliterating Tennessee and Oregon. The drama? Immaculate. The defenses? Nasty. Texas’ Colin Simmons and Ohio State’s Jack Sawyer are ready to wreck QBs like Miley Cyrus in that music video. Offensively, the Buckeyes are banking on QB Will Howard and their new boy toy, freshman WR Jeremiah Smith, while Texas leans on RB Quintrevion Wisner to do his best Usain Bolt impression. Winner gets a ticket to the natty, so trust me—this is not one you want to miss.

Oh also— the stadium is under a blanket of snow…..in Texas. IDK what to say other than plot twist.

1:00pm ET Saturday, 🏒 NHL Panthers vs. Bruins – An NHL Grudge Match with Main Character Energy

Florida Panthers vs. Boston Bruins? At this point, this isn’t just a hockey game—it’s a toxic ex dynamic with receipts. The Panthers have been doing the absolute most, bouncing the Bruins out of the playoffs two years in a row and winning both matchups this season while racking up 10 goals. If Boston was a person, they’d be rage-texting at 3 AM. But don’t count them out yet—revenge is on the menu, and this January 11 game is on ABC, which means national spotlight, extra drama, and zero room for mistakes. It’s basically The Bachelor of hockey games, but instead of a rose, someone’s getting body-checked.

Expect the drama we had in the playoffs last year like this…

3:00pm ET Saturday, 🏀 NBA: Rockets vs. Hawks – Offense vs. Defense, But Make It Messy

The Houston Rockets are rolling into Atlanta on January 11 with a four-game road win streak, feeling themselves like they just got a fresh blowout. But plot twist—Houston’s three-point shooting is giving tragic. Like, imagine trying to apply winged eyeliner in the back of an Uber tragic. Meanwhile, the Hawks are a full-on paradox: Trae Young is out here dishing out assists like bottle girls handing out sparklers, and Jalen Johnson is doing everything right… except playing defense. The Rockets’ defense is tighter than your bestie’s gym selfies (only allowing 106.8 PPG), but the Hawks’ offense is hotter than the line outside a sold-out concert. Something’s gotta give, and with both teams trying to stay relevant in the playoff race, expect chaos—probably the fun kind, but also potentially crying in the club kind.

Rocket fans rn-

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3:00pm ET Sunday, 🏀 NBA: Knicks vs. Bucks – Eastern Conference Drama Fit for Reality TV

January 12 at Madison Square Garden? It’s giving prime-time main character energy. The Knicks (25-13) have been on their "we deserve better" era, led by Karl-Anthony Towns playing like he's tryna impress his ex and Jalen Brunson reminding everyone why New York fell in love with him in the first place. On the other side, the Bucks are still trying to prove they’re that girl—even though they’ve been giving "sometimes I show up, sometimes I don’t" all season. Giannis Antetokounmpo is a walking cheat code, and Damian Lillard still has that "final two minutes of a rom-com" clutch gene, but Milwaukee’s been wildly inconsistent. The vibes? Knicks trying to make a statement, Bucks trying to avoid embarrassment. Basically, this game is the basketball version of running into your ex when you’re both with new people—awkward, high-stakes, and absolutely worth watching.

Moral of the story? Your weekend sports lineup is stacked, the drama is unmatched, and if your ex texts you “HNY” during one of these games, ignore them. See you Monday!

XOXO Ball Girl